I wrote this a long while ago – sometime last year, in 2012. It was inspired by deep-brooding thought I had been doing at the time about something – or someone – in particular. My sailor, from once upon a stormy past.
The Sea and a Sailor
© Jennifer K. Marsh 2013
I still think of you, every now and then. Do you still think of me? I cannot help but wonder where we would now be if I had not cast you to the desolate shore, like the merciless sea rips the heart from the sailor who loves her so.
The sea cannot control her wrath, nor her most precious emotions, and so she swirls an uncontrollable whirlpool whose sole purpose is destruction and heartache. But she does not mean it, and this you knew too well, thus you were not deterred by her tidal waves which prove so impossible to sail upon. Did this make you a fool, or did this make you brave? You did not settle upon the shore, and so you swam through the unruly waters to tell her that you would stay forever if she simply let you. You sang a soothing lullaby, but still this would not calm her; the sea cannot be tamed, and you learnt this too late. Battered and bruised, you returned to the shore, finally admitting that you could take no more. She understands that you had to go, for no man would willingly drown in a tortured past, but you smashed the shells of stone surrounding her broken heart and tried to mend it with a healing kiss, despite the fact the jagged shards cut you every time you touched. You were a fire that could not be extinguished, or so she thought, because, alas, it came to be that your spirit died, for you grew wearier over time. You were but a mortal man.
Now I know you walk across the land, and although I cannot come ashore to be beside you, that does not mean I cannot dream. Surely though, my dear, walking upon solid ground is better than sinking in the sea. Forgive me, I beg of you, but if you cannot then I won’t hold you to blame: you loved me, but I could not love you. I may not be with you, but if it’s any consolation, you managed to steal a shard of my heart; so, in a way, I will always be with you. My heart knows a piece is missing, and it knows that it belongs to you, hence why I see you in my nightly visions and hear your name whisper in the wind every once in a while. I wish I was the sun so I could hearten your path so you tread only on warm happiness, and so I could lighten the dark so you can find a way; since I am not, however, I hope that someone, someday, can be that fiery star for you. And if you ever find yourself by the sea again, I hope that we can smile, and I will wave the special love I hold for you that glistens on the brine. But you and I will forever know that the sea and a sailor can never be as one.