Self-inflicted Torture

Writing a novel is, quite possibly, one of the most laborious, tedious, demanding and stressful things someone could do to themselves. So then, why did I do it? Because I’m an idiot.

The plot and characters have an eternal riot in my thoughts. I forever smash my face against a wall because I am one of the most technologically averse people in the world. I constantly rip my hair out like a madman because I am so stressed and fret about every little thing I write. I rock back and forth muttering unintelligible things as my brain slowly turns to slush. Let’s face it, I may as well just be in a mental asylum. There is, however, absolutely no one to blame for all this but me. Writing a book is self-inflicted torture. Does that make all authors insane? Probably, yes. I will actually end up in a mental asylum at some point, then. It is inevitable.

If Sherlock is out there, you may have noticed I’m having a little bit of a negative blip. At the moment, I can’t help but think about my story and just go, “Well, this was a waste of my time.” I read through chapter one earlier and thought, “This is the worst thing I have ever seen in my life.”

I’m not really selling my story right now, am I?


4 responses to “Self-inflicted Torture

  1. Don’t worry any writer who claims they never have any form of self doubt is probably not very good! It is hard work but hopefully you get moments of pure euphoria??

    • Perhaps you’re right! Well, I wouldn’t say pure euphoria, as I’m far too grounded as an individual and rarely let myself get carried away, but, yes, I do have my positive, upbeat moments! That’s probably just as well, or else I fear I really would go insane!

"What does your heart tell you?" - ToO, chpt. 32

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