Pop Goes the Idiot

As some of you may be aware, my debut fantasy novel has recently been published, being available on sites such as Amazon UK and US. Many friends and family members of mine have said similar things, most of which have been along the lines of “You must be so excited!” Honestly, hand on heart, I find nothing exciting about this experience. Don’t get me wrong, I’m of course truly grateful for all the support I’ve received and am continuing to receive, but it just doesn’t excite me. However, we must bear in mind that I’m a bit weird and literally nothing excites me… And if I do get excited about something, that uncontrollable bubble swells within me for a total of a about 10 seconds, before POP! It’s gone.

But hey, no worries, ’cause I’ve had many people also say “What’s wrong with you?” in response to my lack of apparent emotion on the subject whilst conversing with them. I get my fair share of verbal poundings (especially from my mother, bless her), and rightly so! I should be jumping for joy and cheering from the rooftops, because I have achieved no mean feat; yet, even so, I have a bubble of lead.

I think the main reason I’m not excitable (excluding the fact I’m weird) is because I don’t see my writing as something enjoyable. To me, it’s a duty. It’s a story that needed to be told, and I’m just the mind the Ilimoskus chose to tell it for them. Lucky me, ‘eh! I get to experience their world and society, and not just when writing. I live and breathe these elemental beings: my heart is kindled by the heat of fire; my thoughts are pushed ever forward by the wind; my resolve is as solid as stone; and my passion flows as easily as the river waters! This fantasy realm takes me away, and I hope that anyone who reads Ilimoskus can join me there! I’m a little bit lonely in this world all alone.

Since Book 1 of the trilogy has finally flown the nest, I am right here, right now, officially announcing that I am continuing work on Book 2! I’ve had to focus on Book 1 for so long now that it really will be a breath of fresh air to start anew. Okay, well, it’s not totally new since it’s merely the continuation of the same story, but it still feels new… ish. And, all right, I still have to do press releases and such for Book 1, but that’s not much in the grand scheme of things! It genuinely feels like a century since I last wrote anything for Book 2, given the stresses and whatnot of publishing Book 1, and although I’m mildly concerned to start work again, I’m sure it’ll be okay once I do.

Or will it?

Now, being the idiot I am, it seems the last time I wrote anything for Book 2, I suddenly stopped in the most ridiculous place. I stopped mid-chapter, mid-scene, mid-conversation, with only the lone word ‘Fathers’ as my note. Well… That was stupid. Of course, I know what I have/had intended, because I have it all planned out, but it’s impossible for me to remember the exact details of how I wanted the scene to flow. Rewriting the chapter so I can actually continue is not exactly what I had in mind when recommencing work…

This is the very last bit I wrote:

She released a cumbersome sigh. “No, I didn’t.”

He was surprised by this, for even though he did not want to admit it, doubt had nestled itself in one of the many tiny fissures rupturing his distended mind.

…I have no idea what ‘he’ was supposed to be doubting. %#@*! ((:

Well, this should be fun. Wish me luck.


3 responses to “Pop Goes the Idiot

  1. Jenny, the fact you don’t excited is humbling… The way you show its all guided and meant to be for you is amazing! That excited me that God is moving! Am I excited about every single thing I do in my work? Certainly not everything! But its the impact and legacy that gives it a buzz!

    As for you rewriting the chapter… Well, that just made me laugh 🙂 it’ll come to you, just as everything else has. You’ll always receive a good helping. It may even overflow 😉

    • Indeed; I think the greatest moments are the ones when you don’t particularly expect to be excited. For example, what I told you the other day about ‘Malein/melein’ made me buzz FAR more than anything to do with publishing did!

      I’m sure it will come to me, you’re right. I’ll try not stress out too much! (; I’m going to read through the whole book (because there isn’t that much) and hopefully I’ll remember what I was trying to do! Ha, maybe I will overflow. Who knows? 🙂

  2. Pingback: Eye See You | Jennifer K. Marsh

"What does your heart tell you?" - ToO, chpt. 32

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