Hear My Voice (;

It is the first of a brand new month! The seventh month of the year. This is ever so slightly depressing, though, because WHERE has the year gone? We’re over half way. Deary me.Β Perhaps more disconcertingly, we’re in that half of the year which is home to Christmas, which means that at any moment now we’ll be hearing the first Christmas song on the radio… *shudders with rage*

But you don’t want me to unleash my inner Scrooge. So anyway! Since it is the beginning of a brand new month, a brand new time, I am going to treat you all in a new, hopefully long-lasting, beginning of mine, which entails positivity and never giving up. Not that I gave up before, but… yeah. Obviously, I am certain you have been sitting there pondering over how I my singing voice sounds. No? Well, whether you have or not, now you can hear my voice.

Please contain your excitement, I know it’s a lot to take in.

***

You have the privilege of hearing me sing. Crazy, I know. I actually loathe singing in front of people because I am horribly shy and nervous, so I feel it’s quite odd for me to be sharing my singing with the world but… Oh well. Things like that are certainly easier through a screen. I happened to stumble across this recording on my laptop not too long ago, which I did sometime last year. I had forgotten about it. It is poor quality because I recorded it from my phone, soo… sorry ^^

I only hope I have done this beautiful song justice.

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67 responses to “Hear My Voice (;

  1. It’s the countdown to Christmas, Jennifer. How exciting is that!? We know how much you love this whole concept.

    It is slightly depressing thinking about how quickly this year has skipped by… especially when I think I’ve probably spent 99% of it messaging you πŸ˜‰ whoops.

    It’s curious that you speak almost exactly as I have been reading you. And what a lovely singing voice you have! When telling me about your singing while painting escapades, I was imagining some kind of raucous bellowing, a la me. Clearly not. You should totally record yourself doing the Joseph Dreamcoat song…

    • You jest, I know, but the sad fact of the matter is that it’s actually true. We are genuinely in the countdown to Christmas now. Ugh. I can feel my face twitching with irritation already. OH, HIYA SCROOGE.

      Haha, oh, well I do apologise for wasting 99% of your year πŸ˜‰ Again, this is a sad truth. We’ve been wasting each other’s lives, I feel. Though, I can think of worse ways to waste it πŸ˜‰

      Do I? Well, would you look at that. I have been told before, though, that I write very much like I speak, so maybe that has something to do with it.
      Haha! Is this another backhanded compliment you thrive so well at? Thank you for the faith you had in my singing voice, Steven πŸ˜‰ Indeed, I raucously bellow. I should so do that song, shouldn’t I. But I don’t think I’d be able to get through it laugh-free. I often find myself singing ‘Close Every Door’ from that musical. I believe I’ve told you this before ?

      • Yes, we are. Not much we can do about it, apart from get you as riled about it as possible πŸ˜‰ Six months and it’ll all be over again! And the year will be through… and I’ll be nearly 41… oh my.

        There are worse ways of spending it, indeed. Watching Lord of the Rings, for instance… or fishing faeces out of a swimming pool.

        It is funny, because people never sound as I expect them to, and I never sound as people expect either. Ha, I don’t speak anything like I write; I use far fewer words, stutter, and demonstrate significantly weaker grammar…

        It was a bit of a back-hander, wasn’t it? Haha, it was intended to be far more complimentary than it perhaps came across. You do have a very nice singing voice, though. I wish I could sing – I get so envious of people with nice voices. It would probably be considered a form of abuse if I sang to somebody.

      • By the time Christmas comes around, I will be a black hole of rage and a Scroogeness. Ugh, I loathe and despise Christmastime. LET’S SEE HOW MUCH MONEY WE CAN SQUEEZE OUT OF EVERYONE ‘CAUSE THAT’S BLATANTLY ALL XMAS IS ABOUT PRESENTS AND COMMERCIAL CRAP WE DON’T NEED NOR WANT WHO CARES ABOUT PEACE AND GOODWILL AND LET’S NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE WHY WE CELEBRATE XMAS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

        Okay, breathe. Sorry. IT’S JULY, Steven, and this is already happening. There is no hope.

        Don’t talk like that. That is horribly scary. You only just turned 40, didn’t you? When you phrase it like that, it makes my birthday sound just around the corner. It is in fact 6 weeks after Christmas. Winter babies, we are πŸ˜‰ In fact, I so bought some nail varnish earlier on today purely because (and I’m not even joking) it was called ‘Winter Moon’. BEST NAME EVER. Love winter. Love the moon. Perfect. That’s my winter nail varnish sorted πŸ˜‰

        If you keep saying such things about LotR, I will come to Norfolk and smack you. Behave, child. If you must criticise something, moan about bloody Ilimoskus.

        Everybody uses worse grammar when they speak. It’s just the way speech goes (past English Language student here. Heed πŸ˜‰ ).

        Aw, well thank you, Stevick. Hahaha, I’m sure you have a nicer voice than you give yourself credit! Everyone can sing. Some people may be better than others but… everyone can sing πŸ˜‰

      • Well, that was easier than expected.

        It does depress me too. It is just so unnecessary. Unnecessary fuss, unnecessary gifts, unnecessary stress. There are few things I dread more than Christmas shopping.

        My birthday is 31st January. A mere twelve days before yours, I believe. Hahaha, Winter Moon is a fantastic name. I would obviously have bought it too.

        But I haven’t seen an Ilimoskus film, have I? I’m sure it would be too entertaining to criticise. Besides, I don’t actually hate LOTR. I’m just trying to wind you up… and am apparently succeeding.

        I did English Language too. In 1992, admittedly, but still. Got an A and everything.

        I shall sing loudly tomorrow, and will dedicate it to (blame it on) you, and your angelic princess/eco goddess tones.

      • Don’t underestimate my rage for Christmas, seriously. It is quite something.
        Christmas shopping is torture. In fact, there have been some years where I basically refuse to do it, and thus, I have given people no presents. Isn’t that awful. I just cannot bear it. I hate presents. Presents must be PRESENTED, all because a certain day dictates it must be so, whereas gifts are GIVEN from the heart. You see the difference? Bloody Christmas.

        Oh, is it 31st? For some reason, I was sat here thinking it was 30th. Only one day out. Indeed! Mine is 12th February.

        Haha, of course you would have bought it. Who could refuse? I’m sure it would look dashing on you.

        And I doubt you’ll be seeing an Ilimoskus film any time soon πŸ˜‰ If it ever is a film, you’d better go see it. My, what a hilarious thought.

        Haha, and Princess Jenona shall appreciate such delightful singing greatly πŸ˜‰

        So, yesterday evening, I was flicking through the channels and I happened to land of The Simpsons for a few minutes, and Ned Flanders’ was on with his children, and I just could not stop laughing. I used to laugh at Rod and Todd enough as it was, but now I stand no chance. THANKS STEVEN. My future children, right there. I really need to have two boys, don’t I.

        In other news, my hoover exploded yesterday. This is quite the issue. I am a bit of a clean freak.

      • I also went a couple of years without buying presents, so I can’t berate you for that. Not that I would anyway. I agree with your sentiment entirely… but I was made to feel so bad for not doing it that I force myself these days.

        Your birthday is the same as the intermediate hair girl. Easy to remember.

        My daughter had a phase where she used to always put nail varnish on me. More than once, I went out having forgotten to remove it.

        I want an Ilimoskus film. It would be amazing. I would SO go see it. Also, I look forward to the DVD commentary and extra feature, ‘Bloody Ilimoskus’, in which you rant about how much pain the wretched thing has caused you.

        Hahaha, sorry! He wasn’t singing, was he? I can so picture you with the real-life equivalents of Rod and Tod. That would just be too perfect.

        Oh dear (sniggers). As in a big, spectacular explosion? I hope it didn’t explode in your face. I have a Hetty hoover. She works a treat.

      • Oh yeah, people like to make you feel bad about it all right. Stupid. Hate it. I feel like Sideshow Bob sometimes…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbd4t-ua-WQ That grumble sums up my life (especially at Christmastime).

        It is also the birthday of CHARLES DARWIN πŸ˜‰ We all know how much I love ole Darwin. AND, it is also the birthday of Abraham Lincoln AND Gromit, from Wallace and Gromit. Best birthday ever, I think you’ll find.

        Ha, yes, you’ve said before πŸ˜› How adorable.

        What is it they always say? ‘The book’s better than the film’ πŸ˜‰ One day, Steven, one day. You wait.

        Haha, no he wasn’t singing, it was something about judgement day, and Rod and Todd did their classic, “YAAAAYY!” So, basically, if I have the real-life equivalents of Rod and Todd, I will do nothing but laugh at my children.

        It didn’t explode like a bomb, if that’s what you’re thinking, but it did explode a bit. I was just hoovering and it went BANG, and then a puff of smoke came out. I was like… Oh… I see… Interesting… A new hoover is on the cards, I feel.
        A Hetty hoover? As in, the pink one? Hahahaha, I’d expect no less from you.

      • Oh, that Simpsons clip is one of my all-time favourites. I love Sideshow Bob so much.

        Darwin. How could I forget that? It does seem to be quite a popular birthday then. WELL, on MY BIRTHDAY (scrambles to Wikipedia) Justin Timberlake was born, and Anthony Rosano, an American porn star. On my 16th birthday, the first McDonald’s in the Soviet Union opened. So there. I think we can agree that I win, quite conclusively.

        That’s another thing I would look forward to in ‘Bloody Ilimoskus’: you basically scathing the film for deviating from the plot and getting so many things wrong.

        I’ve always felt that making film vs book comparisons is silly, really. Video and print are two totally different art forms, of course they’re going to do different things.

        I saw The Simpsons on C4 this afternoon which was typically Flanders-heavy. The one where Bart and Lisa are about to be baptized by Ned, only for Homer to save the day… lots of singing. Lots of me laughing, imagining you putting up with such kids.

        There was something else I corpsed about recently which was your fault, but I’ve forgotten what it was. Rest assured that you have ruined my life though, Jenona.

        Hahaha! Yes, I think a new one might be a good idea. Hetty is the pink one, yes. I don’t know what you are suggesting with that remark.

      • Sideshow Bob is hilarious. He always makes me giggle. Much like Ned Flanders.

        Never forget Darwin. That is the crime of all crimes. Hahaha, yes, YOU win, of course. Keep telling yourself that πŸ˜‰ *patronisingly pats you on head*

        Ahaa, oh my, you can just see it now can’t you. I know, I’m always saying that though: books and films are indeed different forms of media, so they are bound to be different – and so they should be, really. HOWEVER, saying that, I still think they need to respect and stay true to the original source.
        When film adaptations add in stupid, unnecessary plot moments or alter the ending completely… that annoys me. The ‘My Sister’s Keeper’ film annoyed me beyond all comprehension. The book was SO AMAZING and it had THE BEST plot twist ever, yet obviously, they made the film the most predictable pile of drivel going. Such a shame. I got into such an tiff with a friend once, regarding that book/film. She was like, “Oh my God, and when her boyfriend dies-”
        “…Boyfriend??” I said. “What boyfriend?” (I had yet seen the film myself, and she had not read the book)
        “You know, the boyfriend! She met him in the hospital.”
        *thinks for a moment* “….Oh for goodness sake, how ridiculous! He was NOT her boyfriend! They were just friends.”
        “No… They were boyfriend and girlfriend, and they had their first kiss at that hospital ball thing.”
        *dies insides from frustration* “No, they did not. They met at the hospital while undergoing their treatment and WERE JUST FRIENDS, and they went to that ball together PURELY AS FRIENDS.”
        “No they didn’t, Jenny!”
        “YES THEY DID! They did in the book! So I don’t know what the hell the film is doing, it sounds crap. Why did they have to make them boyfriend and girlfriend? Ugh, I hate it when films change the plot like that.”
        “Yeah, well I don’t care about the book, the films sounds way better. How boring if they were just friends.”

        And so it went on, like that, and I got more and more annoyed. As did she. And then we just decided to shut up about it.

        (But the book is better) πŸ˜‰

        Putting up with what kids? Bart and Lisa, or Rod and Todd? I laugh so much whenever Ned Flanders is in a scene. It’s like I’m inhaling laughing gas. I just can’t help it. I don’t know what it is! Ned Flanders takes being a Christian to the extreme, doesn’t he. Maybe that’s what it is. I don’t know. But it’s hilarious.

        As you have ruined mine, Stevick. What a strong foundation for a friendship this is πŸ˜‰

      • He’s brilliant. The episode with he plotting a scheme with his brother Cecil is one of my favourite Simpsons episodes, actually…. not least, because there’s someone called Cecil in it. Love that name, I do. My sons don’t realise how lightly they got off.

        You would need a stepladder to pat me on the head, titch πŸ˜‰

        Oh, yes, I agree with that. Wild deviations like that are a bit of a stretch, and seems to defeat the object rather. That’s telling a completely different story. I guess people almost instinctively align themselves with the book version because they have the images already in their head from reading it, and then when a film dictates to you how it is, it challenges them (for better or worse, as your interpretation decides).

        Rod and Tod, of course. You would never have kids like Bart and Lisa. Well, Lisa maybe. I can imagine you with a smart-arse daughter. Ha, I find most Simpsons characters fantastic, to be honest. Though, it’s true that it’s really nothing compared to 20 years ago.

        All of my friendships begin with me ruining the other person’s life, Jennifer. This is business as usual.

      • I hate how Americans pronounce Cecil. When I was in American with my American family (obviously) last year, my cousin was like, “Oh yeah, and this boy in my class called Cecil…” Apart from she said “SEE-sull”. I was like, SEE-sull? What the heck is SEE-sull? Americans, eh. A strange folk πŸ˜‰

        But no, Sideshow Bob is just magnificent. Obviously, only in the cartoon realms, for if we liked a real human being like Sideshow Bob, I fear we’d be burned at the stake.

        Hahaha, so true. You are an ent.

        Haha, your talk about my possible future children amuses me so much. Obviously, I would never have a Bart. Heaven forbid πŸ˜‰ I’ll have three children then, shall I? A Rod and a Todd and a Lisa.

        I think you should throw a lunchbox at someone’s head and see where that leads you. Indeed, it is likely to lead you into a beautiful friendship with someone. Need I remind you of the living example that is Meggie and I?

      • Ah, yes, that grates a little. SEE-sull. Sideshow Bob (and in fact all of the characters) say Sess-ull, though, which is a relief.

        The number generator on Countdown is called CECIL, you know (Countdown’s Electronic Calculator In Leeds) – except it’s not a calculator. And it’s no longer in Leeds. Still though, a nice bit of trivia for you, there.

        Haha, yeah, it’s a good job Sideshow Bob’s not real. Same with The Joker, whom I also love. The villains are the best, really.

        I would hope you would at least be a bit more creative with their names and choose some from a natural vein. Leif, for example. Petal. Grass. Isobar. That kind of thing. Though, that aside, you should totally call your first son Steven/Stevick.

        I am going to walk around Norwich in the morning, hurling lunchboxes at anyone and everyone, to see what happens. Lots of new friends, I’m excited πŸ™‚

      • Sideshow Bob is supposed to be British though, isn’t he…? As is every ‘villain’ in American TV/film.

        Wow, thank you for such trivia. My life has been greatly enhanced πŸ˜‰

        Villains are certainly more interesting. Backtory, psychology, so on and so forth.

        Petal? There is no way on this earth I would name a daughter of mine Petal. Did I ever tell you I would have been called Steven were I a boy?
        On the subject of having children, today at school, this girl in Yr 4 comes up to me with her hairband all looped around 4 of her fingers. “Pick a finger,” she said. So I just picked one, wondering what on earth she was doing, and she goes, “You’re going to have a baby boy!”

        So, there we go.

        Oh, do tell me how the lunchbox hurling went. How many friends did you acquire?

      • Is he English? I didn’t think so. Well, the other characters also say it our way.

        But yes, we are all villains according to the Yanks. With our hideous teeth and sharp, calculating ‘wit’, we do make the perfect foe.

        Pretty much everyone on here who’s American, thinks I’m hilariously charming and witty. I find that very cute, like I’m a quintessential Brit to them… or maybe just a quintessential villain…

        You did tell me about how you would have been Steven, yes. Imagine that. Steven Marsh. Well… it’s still better than Fisher!

        Hmm. Is she saying you looked pregnant? How unkind.

      • Clearly, we are just the most villainous nation out there.

        Aw, get you with your American fanbase. So touching. Indeed, ‘quintessential villain’ just screams out from all you do, and all you are.

        I have never in my life been mistaken for being pregnant, which is lovely. A friend of mine was mistaken for it once. She was on a bus and this man offered her his seat, thinking she was pregnant, and I nearly died laughing when she told me. She wasn’t even remotely fat, either. So funny. But I was mistaken for being a mother once. Have I told you this?
        I am, however, very frequently mistaken for being married, which I find quite odd. Like… all the time. I struggle to comprehend. Everyone just assumes I’m married, or I’m called Mrs…. (outside of school, I mean. We all know how the children like to call me Mrs. Marsh). My most recent example was just the other day. I went to Specsavers to make an appointment for my eye test (I’m mentally preparing myself not to laugh), and I haven’t had an actual appointment there since moving here, so I had to give my details. And the lady goes, “Is that Mrs?”

        NO IT IS NOT. Do I radiate ‘housewife’ or something? I just don’t get it. Do you get it? I don’t get it. I JUST DO NOT GET IT. Have I made that clear? πŸ˜‰

        Seriously don’t get it.

      • This is true – I mean, look how we do in the Eurovision Song Contest. And has there ever been a more completely reliable marker of just how loathed a country is πŸ˜‰

        Ha, I find it hilarious. So not witty, so not charming. And utterly harmless, of course.

        Well, were he a gentleman like me, he would have offered her his seat whether pregnant or not. I’ve had friends who often say it while wallowing in self-pity about their ‘carriage’, shall we say. “At least it’s twins, that’s different,” I said once… and, of course, was clobbered.

        There’s a nasty phase when you are expecting though, where people aren’t really sure, and just believe you’ve piled on the pounds. I am speaking from experience here, of course, for I have had several children.

        I don’t know about married, but I think I said before that when I first discovered your blog, I expected you to have a child for some reason. You do seem rather motherly. It’s not a bad thing, more an indicator of wisdom. Mums are the best.

        Well, come on, Jennifer. You would have been far more offended had she asked, “Is that Mr?”…

        Enjoy your imminent eye test. Don’t be giggling now πŸ˜‰

      • Haha, so true. The world hates us.

        Why, of course you are speaking from experience in such matters, since you have had several children indeed. You are a seahorse.

        Well, it would appear you are one of the few people out there who doesn’t mistaken me for being a married lady. Maybe that’s why I’m still single. Men see me and think, “Oh, well, she’s married – can’t go for her.” That must be it. Nothing to do with me at all πŸ˜‰
        Yeah, you’ve said. That is so hilarious. I don’t get that, either. You thought I had a child. Priceless. Well, everyone else I know has a child (apart from Meggie, obviously). I seem to be the odd one out these days. I really need to sort it out, clearly.

        [Side note: Speaking of Meggie, she updated me on her globetrotter adventures, and she threw up and passed out from too much alcohol on a beach in Thailand. That girl is the definition of class. You see, this is what happens when I am not there to control her wild antics.]

        ‘Well, come on, Jennifer. You would have been far more offended had she asked, β€œIs that Mr?”…’ I chuckled so much at that. You may have a point. Hahaha, but even so! It’s like if everyone looked at you and said, “Oh, you have brown eyes,” when you clearly don’t. CLEARLY, I am not married… So what is this? Maybe the universe is subtly trying to hint at something (i.e. it’s saying, “just get married what is with you”)

        My eye test isn’t actually until 23rd! ‘Cause I couldn’t be doing with fitting it around work, so it’s in the summer holidays instead. Do you reckon I’ll manage to prepare myself not to laugh by then…? I severely doubt it. But one can hope.

      • I am a sea horse? Really? Wow. I’m so thrilled to be called a sea horse, genuinely I am. They’re amazing. Can I own one, do you think? Keep it in the pond, or on the sofa and chuck water at it, like my seal? Do get Meggie on the case, posthaste.

        I only have THREE children, by the way… just to clear that up. It’s more than enough, too.

        It’s such a nasty ‘grown up’ feeling when you learn that so many of your friends and the people you went to school with have married off or now have kids, isn’t it? Thank goodness I was in that sort of age bracket before the internet and social media came along… I’m not sure I could cope with being barraged with ‘look how happy we are!!!’ baby/wedding photos like people throw out there without a second thought. I’m happy for you, truly, but I’m really not terribly interested in the photo of the alarm clock as you wake up on the eve of your wedding day. Thanks though.

        I sound like such a grumpy old man there, don’t I? I’m jolly, really. I am. (straight face) But seriously though, ugh social media.

        Ha, yeah, you need to sort it out, Jenona. Get with Jonathan/Chris/that man who helped you plan your freak-out the other weekend, and start making beautiful children together.

        I have been speaking to you about pregnancy and it has not come to mind that my cousin is expected to pop on Thursday, meaning I shall have a new… what relation is that? I don’t even know. Oh well, exciting times anyway. My sister is also due to pop in October, meaning I shall be an uncle for the second time. Ha, imagine that. ME as your uncle. (sinister laugh) It’s quite funny seeing sis all bulky and fat, as she has never once been any fatter than stick-thin. It’s quite remarkable. It’s all happenin’, Jenona…

        Oh dear. Poor Meggie. Or should that be poor Thailand? I feel the latter. Ha! You say that, I’m sure your presence would only have made things worse some way or another.

        The universe is conspiring to bind Jenona and Jonathan in eternal matrimonial bliss.

        Ha! I almost want to get my own eyes tested just to test if I laugh or not (well, of course I will now that you’ve mentioned it). I bet you laugh pretty much instantly.

      • You can have seahorses as pets, can’t you? In marine tanks…? I’m pretty sure you can. I’m thinking not the pond, though.

        I know you ONLY have three πŸ˜‰ Though I still do, on occasion, think it is four. Why do I get so confused with that?

        It’s a horrid feeling, really. I am so sick of seeing babies and weddings on my social media feeds. I just… ugh. Please. It basically rubs in just how much of a larry I really am, too.

        I think social media lures the grumpy old man out of all of us from time to time. It’s awful, really, but then there are also many good things about it. I don’t really use it that much to be honest. But it’s nice to have the option to.

        Haha, please don’t refer to it as ‘pop’. That sounds so… distasteful. But there certainly seems to be a lot of popping your end. Not so much in my family, thank goodness. Every time a family member had a baby, I always ended up thinking, ‘Are they ever going to stop reproducing?’ Ironically, I can’t deal with children in my own family. But I am pleased to say that child-popping has ceased in my family for the past few years now.
        Your cousin having a baby would make it your second cousin, I believe. Relations all get terribly confusing from then on.

        Well, I don’t drink alcohol, do I, Stevick, so were I with Meggie, I certainly wouldn’t have encouraged her to be worse regarding that. But yes, I’m sure we would have got ourselves into some kind of situation, alcohol or no.
        She keeps saying this: “Ladyboys are such a mindfuck.”

        So, I was looking at the Specsavers website to get an idea for new frames (because I guarantee I will need new lenses), and I saw these. http://www.specsavers.co.uk/glasses/leona?sku=25634532 I laughed. Why do Specsavers always name their frames like that? My current pair are called ‘Bella’. But Bella are half-rimmed ones, and I was thinking of going crazy and getting fully rimmed ones for a change. The temptation to get Leona glasses is great indeed. But we shall have to see.
        I don’t usually laugh until the opticians does their thing, which is pretty much instantly, yes. I just remember the conversations I used to have with friends in school, back in the day, where we took the piss out of opticians saying, “One, or two. Three, or four.” And then that reminds me of my old PE teacher ’cause she used to say the register like opticians say that one or two thing, and we were always like, “Does she think she’s an optician or something?” And then when they shine the light in your eye…. Oh dear. That is always a bad time. I cannot deal with someone being that close to my face. It’s all a nightmare. I was thinking only last night how much of a traumatic experience going to the opticians actually is. And trying on new frames? Uggghhhhhhh. Please. The worst.

        But I’ll probably find it even harder not to laugh now, because of you. SO THANKS STEVEN.

      • Well, there’s an idea. Sea horses are coming to Norwich.

        You think it’s four because you are silly, Jenona. I would never go so wildly overboard like that. Jeez, give me some credit. Saying this, you could pretty much count my brother as a son. He doesn’t get on with the old man very much, so I have to father him relentlessly. Well, I had to babysit him time and again when he was a toddler, so not much has changed. What would he do without me. Tsk.

        Haha, “here’s a picture of our 24-day old baby”. It looks the same as day 23 and day 22, my dear. I’m sorry. It does annoy me… it’s pretty much why I gave up on Facebook.

        Incidentally, I’m aware that I’m using social media to slam social media. Shh.

        This is what happens when you hang around children who are stupidly excited. I kept telling them to not use the word pop to begin with, but just gave up telling them after a while. It’s easier that way.

        Ah yes. First second cousin twice removed on the mother’s side, and stuff like that. Wonderful.

        Alcohol aside, I’m sure you would have created mayhem in your own little way. Hahaha! Is she spending a lot of time with ladyboys?

        Oh my goodness, Leona specs! They’re… interesting. You shall have to try them. I have Quiksilver specs from Specsavers, which as far as I’m aware did not have a sweet name I can relate to, just a code.

        It’s the stare into your eyes, with that blinkin’ torch, that always makes me sit there and try ever so hard not to burst into laughter.

        Well, this works both ways. Doubtless, I shall be in this situation and will just think of you, then you playing cricket, then Nick Hewer, and I’ll be out of all control…

      • Yeeaaaahh, just about five million baby pictures a day, really. I mean yes how wonderful you must be so proud beautiful etc. but come on. Is so many quite so necessary?

        I say all this now, but if I ever have a child, I’d probably end up like one of those annoying people. I certainly hope not, though. At least not annoying to THAT degree.

        Oh, I have no idea. Who knows what Meggie is up to. I dread to think, to be honest. At least when she gets to Hong Kong she’s actually doing lawyer work and not just getting drunk on holiday.

        I’m going to find them and try them on just for the laughs. The reason your Quiksilver specs don’t have a cute name is because they’re a designer brand, and not Specsavers own. Only Specsavers own have cute names, and I’m normally too stingy to pay out for designer brands, ’cause I don’t care. I never really seem to like the designer range much anyway. The only designers I’ve ever had were some Oasis ones once.. Had them for 2 years.

        That torch bit is quite the catastrophe. I just do not understand how people cannot laugh. I remember telling you that I told my mother about this once, and she looked at me like I was insane…. Clearly, she does not laugh at this precise moment. But how can she not?! Horrific.

        Hahaha, ohh, I’m actually really concerned about this venture to the opticians. I am certain to leave the store in tears of laughter, and they’re going to think they’ve been serving a mental patient.

      • Ha, and everyone would be all, “Oh, this is your first!? I was sure you already had a child!!! LOL!!”

        I’m sure you wouldn’t be that bad. You’re not that annoying usually (compliment, there).

        She’s going to Hong Kong too? I forgot about that. Sigh. It’s people like her that make me realise just how sedentary and dull I have been my entire life. I hate you, Meggie. Bloody people with their ambitions!

        Oh, well, I don’t just go automatically for the designer brands, Jennifer πŸ˜‰ I would hate to be seen as a specs snob. I also tend to find most of the designer ones repulsive. I’ve never told anyone about laughing at the optician, because I fear I would get precisely the feedback your mother gave you. I just assumed it was my sole problem; thank you for proving that I am not completely alone in my unusual behaviour.

        http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/community/forums/thread/1445193

        We are not alone.

        Hahaha, the thought of you waddling out of the door laughing like The Joker. Hair going everywhere. A proper mental case, most definitely.

      • Hahaha, oh, most certainly.

        I’m not that annoying usually? My, you flatter me, Stevick.

        Yeeaah, same. She’s swanning off around the world and I’m just here like… Oh… Okay… People like her, eh. So inconsiderate.

        Oh my, I laughed so much upon seeing all these people with the same issues as ourselves. WE AREN’T ALONE. We must unite. Maybe it’s something shier people are more prone to… ? That wouldn’t surprise me. Someone needs to do scientific research into this.

      • Every time I try and say something complimentary, it comes out in that fashion… it’s quite remarkable.

        Tell me about it. Reality hurts. Yeurgh, I’m so fed up. We really should go to Norway. Or, given I’ve no passport, the closest possible UK equivalent.

        Seriously though, escaping Norfolk for a while has never been such a temptation. A futile temptation, as I’m sure I couldn’t do it, but a temptation nonetheless.

        I’ve never written ‘temptation’ quite so much so frequently. I feel like Heaven 17 (you’re way too young I suspect).

        Well hey, we are not the only ones with issues. That’s quite reassuring, at least. Research? Well, there’s a summer project for you, Jenona! Get really close to strangers and shine lights in their eyes.

      • I think that takes immense skill, Stevick. You should be proud of yourself.

        Hang on, you don’t even have a passport??! Blimey. I always find it baffling when people come out with that. I don’t understand how you cannot have one. I’ve had a passport since I was a little girl, since my father had to work in America for a little while and we just kinda went with him…

        The UK equivalent to Norway would likely be Scotland; though, if they bugger off out the UK, I’m afraid things are narrowed down even more. Go to the Lake District. I hear it’s beautiful πŸ˜‰

        I’m sorry to hear you’re so fed up… I feel like I’ve passed my fed-up-ness onto you. For which I sincerely apologise. Get out the cricket bat!!!

        It’s funny you say about the temptation to escape Norfolk… I’ve been feeling similar recently on my end. I feel like I want to do something crazy, like leave the country for months on end and do some volunteer work or training or something. In fact, even more specifically, I have the temptation to do this in America. I’ve actually been feeling this temptation in waves for the past year or so now… and right now I’m going through another ‘I need to get away’ moment.

        I know the song ‘Temptation’, if that’s what you’re saying. But we all know how I’m a little whipper-snapper.

        Hahaha, I was thinking more ‘research’ as in quietly observing in actual opticians… as opposed to just running up to people and shining lights in their eyes. I don’t plan on getting arrested. Though, I am sure it is inevitable, someday. Random question: Ever watched Miranda?

      • Hahaha, well, I’ve never thought of it as something to be proud of, being greeted with evils or having slaps thrown at me… but why not.

        Oh, I do have one. but it isn’t valid. I need to renew it. I didn’t have one until I was 24, though. I’ve never been on many holidays, thus don’t miss them, thus aren’t hurt by the ridiculous cost of them. It’s not all bad. I guess whether I truly NEED one is another matter. Maybe I do. I don’t know.

        I went to the Lake District in May last year. It was indeed pretty. I would rather have gone to the Peak District, to be honest, but it was still nice.

        Oh no, you couldn’t be more wrong. I am permanently fed up right now. You being open about it has just allowed me to do the same.

        Haha, cricket πŸ˜‰ always makes me smile.

        Oh, yes! I so want to go off somewhere and do something like that. Not only would it help others, but I suspect it would do me a tremendous amount of good too… I want to go and rescue some tigers, though I understand that might be a bit naive and easier said than done.

        Haha, that is what I was referring to. Classic song, that. TEMP-TAY-TION. (impossibly high screaming) TEEEEEMP-TAAAAY-TION. (more deafening screaming)

        Haha! “Oh, by the way, if you don’t mind, Jennifer here is going to be sitting in on this test. She is going to observe and monitor how hysterical you become during the more intimate parts of the test, purely for research purposes. Act entirely normal.”

        I have seen bits of Miranda, never a full episode though. I don’t like her very much… put you in her place, though, and I’ve a feeling I’d become a devoted fan.

      • Oh, I see. Phew. Meltdown averted πŸ˜‰ Renew it maaaaaan. Nah, I hardly ever go on holiday either. But I would hate to swan off somewhere every year anyway. Though, by the sounds of it, I’ve certainly gone away more than you have. Well, the only thing with having a valid passport is at least you have the option to gallivant off somewhere if the fancy so takes you. Without one, you can’t.

        *tuts* Well, someone clearly isn’t easy to please. BOTH are gorgeous, appreciate it mister πŸ˜‰

        Oh.. Well, is this a good thing? I guess it gives you the opportunity to attack dark shadows face on, wielding the cricket bat.

        Helping others does indeed help yourself. Do it someday! It would be great to volunteer work in another country, no matter which one. I’ll do it in America someday, you wait. Wouldn’t it be great to go somewhere to help orphan elephants? I love elephants so, so much. They are the best.

        ‘Impossibly high screaming’. Sums it up in a nutshell. I mean, can anyone even understand what on earth she is saying?

        I remember when I did work experience in the hospital, they kept saying to the old people, “This is Jennifer, she’s just going to be sitting in watching. She’s doing work experience. Is that okay?’ Basically exactly the same situation, I’m sure you’ll agree.

        See, now I find that odd. You don’t like her/it. Yet, from the tales we tell, we basically are Miranda. I know what you mean, though; sometimes it can be a bit… much. But most of the time I’m laughing so much.

      • It’s on my to do list, mother, honestly. My to do list which is simultaneously empty and jam-packed.

        I have only been abroad twice. Prague (which is seriously beautiful) and Ibiza (headache central). We were staying near Richard Gere in Ibiza. I barely know who he is, other than he’s a celebrity. Get me, living the high life.

        Yes. It’s like being able to drive, isn’t it. I envy the freedom. I seldom drive anymore, my eyes are that bad.

        Haha, that did sound rather picky, didn’t it… both indeed are special. I’ve never been to Peak though. Have you?

        I am finding it impossible to discuss my feelings with anyone right now, and I have shut so many people out almost without realising. Many do not understand, and just think I’m being rude to them. Which I guess I am, but not intentionally, not at all… if that makes any sense. But yes, the fact that I am even beginning to go into it with you is more than most can muster, and goes some way to prove how much I appreciate your company.

        It doesn’t matter how low I am, just the words ‘cricket bat’ make me smile, for some twisted reason. To think how much I loathed the sport at school, too, makes it yet more peculiar. You know that story I was on about? There’s also a game of cricket in there. In the middle of the street.

        Baby elephants are very cute, yes. All animals are beautiful in their own way. That would be a lovely thing to be a part of. Snow leopards are another one that are endangered, aren’t they? They are just stunning to me – up there with white tigers.

        I just put it on (I own basically every song ever) and it’s not as strident as I remember, actually, but still pretty dangerous. I made out “All I desire / climbing higher and higher” in there somewhere… maybe it’s one for you to try πŸ˜‰ Your heavenly tones would put a whole new spin on the song.

        It’s more her I dislike than the actual content. Maybe I don’t watch the show because it is a too painful reminder of how tragic my own life is.

      • I have heard tall tales of Prague’s beauty. There are some lovely cities in the world. Vienna is one of them. Loved Vienna. Haha, look at you with the high life indeed. You don’t know who Richard Gere is, though? Steven. Come on. AN ACTOR, MAN. How did you know you were staying near him?

        I have never been to the Peak District, no…. Nor the Lake District. I swear I’ve been abroad more than I’ve been travelling in the UK for goodness sake. How criminal.

        I often don’t realise I’ve shut someone out, or been pushing them away, until it’s too late. I know the pain. It’s hard when people don’t understand, but you’ve just gotta find people who do (’cause there are a few out there) and value their company. And by the way: after a certain amount of pressure, coal turns into diamonds πŸ˜‰ People who suffer (emotionally or what have you) end up stronger and more beautiful than those who have not.
        But I am very honoured, and glad. Maybe it’s odd that it’s me, but at least there is someone πŸ™‚

        Ha, ‘cricket bat’ also makes me smile, but that’s only because it makes me think of PE, and THAT makes me think to you talking about your PE sessions with your teachers going, “And this is a ball”. Nothing you have said has made me laugh more, and I don’t know why I find it so funny. Even now, I am laughing about it.

        There are too many endangered animals. It is so sad. Snow leopards are gorgeous. I love leopards. They’re my favourite cats! (I know, it should be a lion given my hair, but alas). When I was in school I once did a… thing ? (can’t actually remember what it was) about the different kinds of leopards for media studies. Naturally, I got a high grade, ’cause y’know πŸ˜‰

        Still higher than my ears like, Stevick. I absolutely cannot stand big diva ballad songs/voices. They are THE WORST. I hate them. Loathe them. They make me wince. TOO. LOUD. BE. QUIET. I don’t like loud.

        Hahaha, my ‘heavenly tones’. What are you on about.

        Haha, I feel that. Especially regarding the Bridget Jones film. Such a depressing reminder of life, yet it is brilliant because of that. It’s like laughing hysterically and then it slowly turns into tears. Aaaahhh, funny.

      • Prague is lovely, and it often rains, which is a bonus. Typically, it never saw a drop when I went.

        Haha, well, of course I know he’s an actor, but I couldn’t name you any of his credits. We were told by a fellow guest at the hotel, that it was his mansion overlooking us. Never saw him, though.

        You should definitely go to the Lake District someday! You would lurve it. I know lots of people like that – they’ve been all around the world, but never been to Norwich!!! I also know a few people born elsewhere who have visited far more of the UK than I have.

        You’re right. It just seems that I’ve lost a friend a week for a run of several weeks now, and that’s really depressing given I have few anyway. Maybe it’s an exaggeration, but it just feels like that. As to why I’m going on at you, I think it’s because what you have said yourself has resonated with my own feelings so much – it’s not that odd, really. Besides, if I cannot talk to Mother Jenny, who can I talk to?

        Haha, you have such a good memory when it comes to my life story. I’m impressed, and pleased that a memory of mine has brought you such joy, confusing though it is. That was essentially how we were taught though. I will never forget when my teacher genuinely shouted at me during a football match. I probably told you this. She went, “Go on, Steven! Kick it in the goal!” Bear in mind I was about 15 here. Well, I’d never have worked out that was what that net was for…

        I did get an E in PE, if you forgot that. Good at running and javelin, though.

        I should be offended that nothing I’ve said since has made you laugh as much, though. Are you sure about that? Hmm. It has been a relentless stream of comedy gold, Jenona. Hmph.

        I could not rank a tiger or leopard over one another, they are just too beautiful. Lions are still awesome, but I find the previous two more adorable. Ooooh. You should track down this leopard project if you still have it. Of course you got a high grade. Questions would have been asked had you not.

        I’m guessing the Mariah Carey CD I put away for you for Christmas is a non-starter then πŸ˜‰ I once saw on a ‘funny kids answers in tests’ type post a question which asked the highest frequency sound that could a human could register, or something, and the answer they gave was indeed Mariah Carey. How I laughed.

        Alright, hellacious tones.

        You know, I’ve never seen Bridget Jones’s Diary. Does this make me a bad person?

      • Well, get him with his mansion, eh.

        I’m sure I will someday – go to the Lake District, that is. And Norwich, obviously πŸ˜‰ That’s always the way though, isn’t it. People don’t appreciate what they have on their ‘doorstep’, so to speak, and always believe that travelling afar is where you will have the best travelling experiences. Not necessarily. The best holidays I ever had as a child were at Center Parcs, right here in the UK (and in fact, in Longleat Forest, which was only 40 minutes away from Salisbury!) Do you know Center Parcs? If not, shame on you. It is magnificent. NATURE/OUTDOOR HOLIDAYS, STEVEN. What more could you ask for? I want to go back. I love it there. If I ever have children, I shall take them there every year, because it is amazing.

        Just looked at the Center Parcs website and it says ‘Winter Wonderland 2014 break from Β£299 per lodge. The temptation, Stevick, the temptation. There’s Elveden Forest pretty near Norfolk. GO THERE, STEVEN.

        I must thank my parents for taking me on such outdoorsey holidays, and dragging me out at least once a week to go for a long walk, and biting my head off if I even attempted to harm a fly or spider or something, and for letting me play in the garden until the moon was out. Would I be who I am today without that? Who knows.

        Well of course. You can always talk to Mother Jenny.

        I have an appalling memory, really, so the fact I’ve remember anything you’ve said is astounding. Hahaha, I think I remember you saying. Brilliant. Just brilliant. Why OBVIOUSLY you are comedy gold, Stevick, but that PE lark just resonates with me down to the bone. I remember I laughed an awful lot about that Mary Berry/throwing bread dough/whatever we were talking about situation.

        I don’t have this leopard work, I’m afraid! Did it by hand. I drew pictures with it as well, which makes it even more of a shame. Took me forever, that did. I like clouded leopards. They’re even more endangered than snow leopards. (I think?)

        Hahaha, yeah… Not a fan of Mariah Carey…

        It doesn’t make you a bad person, no. I would only say that if you haven’t seen The Lion King. Haha, I was walking with a friend once, and I ended up talking about The Lion King for some reason, and he said, “I’ve never seen that.” And I literally just stopped dead in my speech and stared at him, and then after too long of silence he said, “I feel as though the dynamics of our friendship has changed.”
        It distressed me, to say the least. I did debate whether we could still be friends.

      • You know, summer heat aside, I think you would genuinely quite like Norwich. It’s a small, very green, charming medieval city, with quite a creative vibe to it. It’s the sort of city I can tolerate.

        This is true. We are so hellbent on going on the most extravagant, most expensive holiday, we forget how much fun we can have just down the road. We used to go along the Norfolk coast and around the broads, basically. That was it. Many fun holidays spent on the seaside.

        Do I know Center Parcs. I haven’t been living under a rock completely, Jenona. Yeesh. Of course I know of Center Parcs. I have never been though, no. Well, wouldn’t that be perfect.

        My father used to take me out on the Broads every Sunday afternoon, but that was mainly to get out of mumsey’s hair while she prepared the roast… but it bore my love of the place, its heritage (windmills) and the NATURE. I don’t think they were ever really that bothered if I harmed anything. They were more bothered that I was bothered. When I was quite young I would kill a spider just out of boisterousness and then cry about it, in regret. And rightly so! But they just thought I was odd. Which I am.

        I too have fond memories of playing out at nighttime. It’s quite special.

        You’re like me, Jennifer. You forget all the important stuff, but the trivial stuff you should have long forgotten is there whenever you need it. I actually went to my comments settings and searched for “this is a ball” and it was on 31st January, my birthday no less, that I told you about that. Nearly six months ago, and you still remember it. Good girl.

        Hahahaha! Now I am laughing out loud. “She [Mary Berry] seems so delicate, though. If you exhaled too vigorously, she’d probably fall over.”

        Speaking of which, it must be nearly time for the Bake Off again. With this and The Apprentice, we shall be truly spoilt.

        Clouded leopards are amazing too. I have a special soft spot for the snow leopard, though. They are all magnificent, and it hurts me to think what people are doing to them.

        That’s hilarious. I have seen the Lion King, thankfully. I also went to see the West End version, about ten years ago now. It was brilliant, but the film is more special to me.

        I tend to react as you did when people say they’ve never seen The Crystal Maze.

      • Well, when one day I visit Norwich, I shall be able to tell you. Salisbury was a medieval city. Medieval cities have a special place in my heart.

        Do forgive πŸ˜‰ I just know quite a few people who do not know Center Parcs. A tragedy, that is. I so want to go to Center Parcs now. Or, maybe I should just camp out in Exmoor, given I live there. It would be somewhat cheaper, I feel.

        Never been camping, though :/ This upsets me somewhat.

        Awww, Steven! Rightly so indeed, though! Aw. That’s adorable though. Weren’t you the most adorable child. I never cried as a child… I make up for it all now, though, don’t you worry πŸ˜‰

        Funnily enough, some of my favourite outside, night-time play memories are with conifer trees in the moonlight.

        Oh, I really do remember THE MOST trivial things. Always. I said to a friend once, “Remember when we were sat by the river at night, by the big tree, and we were talking about CDs and music production?” And he looked at me so blankly I just… None of my friends remember things like that. But anything outside, anything simple… It’s with me forever. As is pointless pieces of information, such as “This is a ball”. Six months ago… aaarrrrggghh, man. Feels like we’ve known each other forever πŸ˜‰

        Aaahh, it’s even funnier upon reading it again. Laughed for about 5 minutes. Priceless.

        Oh yes, much much love for snow leopards, which is only natural given our love for snow, really. ‘Tis literally a knife through the heart thinking about such things, though.

        I’ve seen the West End version too, and I cried equally as much when Mufasa died as I do in the film. Ugh. I tried to hold it in for so long, too, so as not to humiliate myself in public. But alas. It was one of those moments when I held it in so well for so long, and then I kinda had to breathe, and when I did it was that massive, wavering gasp and then it all fell to pieces.

        Nothing on this earth makes me cry more than The Lion King. Literally nothing. I SOB UNCONTROLLABLY ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

      • So, you’re going to visit Norwich and not even say hello? Well, I should expect this from someone ‘socially averse’, I suppose.

        Haha, you should totally go camping. With Jonathan, your forager neighbour.

        Oh, compared to adulthood, I cried precious little in my infancy. Even as a baby. I was very relaxed and cool, apparently. A shame indeed that it’s not quite that way anymore.

        Conifers in the moonlight. Shocking, Jenona. I wasn’t expecting that sort of thing from you πŸ˜‰

        I too retain useless junk, which is probably clear, given the amount I have told you about school and teachers and stuff. Indeed, people often react as if to say “WHY do you even remember that?”

        Oh, I cried when Mufasa died in the movie, not in the West End though. I cried more at the ticket prices πŸ˜‰ there were other people sobbing, though, so once again you are reassured that you’re not the only one with such issues.

      • If ever I find myself in Norwich, I would not hesitate to let you know. So don’t be an idiot.

        Yeah, I was told I hardly cried as a baby, too. Maybe we are actually the same person, in some cross-gender-time-lapse-paradox-I-don’t-even-know.

        Um… What on earth do you think I meant by ‘conifers in the moonlight’, Stevick? YOU WOULDN’T EXPECT WHAT FROM ME? I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick, matey.

        Indeed. I get a lot of, “WHY do you even remember that?” looks myself. Oh well. At least with me, I can use all this useless junk and put in into writing, or characters, or poems, or lah-dee-dah.

        Cried? Past tense, Steven? Is this correct? I cry every single time, as I said previously. An horrific amount of tears, I’m telling you. It’s embarrassing. Though… I think it’s understandable for me. Lion King really brings a lot of memories home. I’m actually writing a blog post for someone else, and in it I link to The Lion King. When it’s up, I shall re-blog it, and I think you should read it because… Well, you will see… Do read it, though. I’m asking you to.

      • Yes, you better, missy. I can show you all the notable Norwich attractions. The Roman Catholic Cathedral, the castle, and the puppet man. http://www.andrewmidgleyphotography.com/imgs/news/583_12436623424c1501dd7b19d.jpg

        Haha, it is insane how alike we are, yes. It’s nice though. I would say maybe I am your long lost brother, but your parents probably aren’t much older than I am.

        I was being sarcastic, Jennifer. No need to get all animated and abrasive. Of course I would expect conifers and moonlight from you. They are pretty much your ethos, are they not?

        That’s true. I channelled all of my useless memories into that Jessicabusters story, which is why it ended up as bizarre and incoherent as it did.

        Well, you see, I haven’t watched Lion King in years. But I’m sure that the state I’m in, I’d be crying as soon as you pressed play. I would look it up on YouTube, but I have already cried enough for one day, I feel.

        Conquering the blogosphere are we, Jenona πŸ˜‰ I shall certainly look out for this Lion King post! And the poem… and the art post… exciting times ahead at Jenniferkmarsh.

        By the way, I did give you however many (2 I think?) awards the other day: http://moodsaplenty.wordpress.com/2014/07/18/the-harnessing-and-sharing-of-light/ although Sherri Poppins nominated you for both of them before I had the chance to, the devil she is. Enjoy.

      • How marvellous that all sounds πŸ™‚

        My parents are nearly twenty years older than you, actually. So…. it’s technically possible you are indeed a long lost brother πŸ˜‰

        I apologise. You see, that is what happens when I believe someone is threatening a precious memory to me in any way, shape or form. Not that you were. But, by implying something else, that took away what that memory actually was to me… If this is making any sense? It’s why I never talk about what I love, or what’s dear to me, because people always laugh or say something degrading about it, and that hurts so much. So what if conifers and moonlight are what make my life worth living? Screw you. (Not you, I’m just saying). *sigh*
        But yes, my ethos indeed. Can you think of anything better than being in a pine forest on a winter’s night, breathing in the blended perfume of the frosty air and the earthy pine scent, while the moon peers down at you with his crater eyes as a fine wisp of snow flurries through the trees?

        The answer is no.

        Oh, I cry just at the THOUGHT of the Lion King at the moment. We should watch it together, for then we could laugh at how ridiculous we both are. Whilst trying not to drown in our own tears, obviously. Though, this post isn’t actually about the Lion King – it’s just brought up in it. It’ll be called ‘Lights in the Dark’ or ‘Living Lights’; I haven’t decided which yet. Freakishly relevant to our recent conversations, though. Which is why you must read it. I sincerely hope you can find something beautiful or hopeful from it.

        I will get round to this poem, honestlyhonestly. I just can’t bring myself to post at the moment.

        And I am so excited about this ‘art post’!! ME, excited about a post?! What is this? But it’s going to be the most creative post I’ve EVER done on my blog, for it is not only art πŸ™‚ It’s good. And hopefully it will be as inspiring and fun and wonder-striking as I want it to be.

        All inspired by an award I was given a little while back. I’ve not wanted a WordPress award more than this one, so I was thrilled beyond words to actually be given it.

        Oh, how did I miss this post of yours? Thank you dearly, Steven.

      • The puppet man is indeed marvellous. He is the highlight of Norwich, really.

        I realised this might be the case when thinking that your father was a singer in the mid 80s. I see. Not much younger than my own folks then. I feel my hair would be slightly more interesting were I closely related to you.

        I do kind of get what you mean. Memories are precious things. As for what you are passionate about, don’t let other people’s snide comments about such things throw you off. It’s their problem, not yours. If I’d listened, I would’ve stopped talking about things like The Crystal Maze twenty years ago, luv πŸ˜‰ it does become easier to shut out the negative remarks, well, I found that to be so anyway. People get tired of saying them over and over πŸ˜‰ And, as hard to understand as it may be, talking about The Crystal Maze (among other things) genuinely makes me happy, because it is something I have a lot of love for, in happy memories and present. Few understand that. It’s just a TV show. So what. I like it.

        I’m not sure how anybody could debate the value and beauty of the image you paint there. Marvellous.

        Yes, I fear that watching Lion King together would probably not be the best plan. It would be a mess, and a flash flood alert would no doubt be issued, with a news copter flying over wherever we were watching.

        Ah, that sounds brilliant, and very kind. Of course I shall read it.:)

        Excited about art, excited about Ilimoskus… Things have gone all upside-down, opposite land here. All these posts to look forward to, Jenona – it’s an exciting time to be alive!

      • That’s an odd thought, isn’t it. My parents aren’t that much younger than yours… when I’m a whipper-snapper and you’re not πŸ˜‰ I say this in the most affectionate way, of course. But yeah, my parents had kids kinda late-on.

        Ha, people get tired of saying it over and over? Not in my experiences, I’m afraid. In fact, the longer I stayed quiet, the worst I got a backlash from others. Ugh, school. Worst time of my life. But of course I would never let such comments throw me off. Who dya think I am? πŸ˜‰ I’m far too much of a mountain for things like that. I don’t say much positive about myself, apart from the fact that I am very strong (emotionally and mentally, that is).

        Ever do what makes you happy!

        Oh good grief. That made me laugh, almost as much as ‘This is a ball’! Gracious me. That is exactly what would happen, yes. A catastrophe in the making. It made me think of this: http://youtu.be/di7dZwidXZU?t=2m20s Another Disney, obviously. Disney is the best.

        Being able to laugh at yourself is the greatest gift in the world.

        I know! Tell me about it. Excitement abound πŸ˜‰

      • You know, I hope some young boy with curly hair comes and befriends you when you’re approaching 40, and teases you remorselessly about your age. Hopefully, he shall be called Stevick.

        Oh, at school of course people pick on the quiet. That’s because schoolchildren are, well, children. Indeed, I should have known you would be far too emotionally powerful to let it deter you. Haha, I love how you describe yourself as a ‘mountain’. Mount Jennifer.

        That is exactly how our Lion King watching would transpire. Except I wouldn’t be dressed as as girl, nor would I be a doorknob. Just a plain nob, p’raps πŸ˜‰ as I’m sure many would agree… but not a doorknob.

        Indeed. I like to laugh at myself playing cricket.

      • Hahahaha. I’m not teasing πŸ˜‰ Well, I am, but only because you say it all yourself. I don’t actually think you’re old – you know I don’t. Besides, I have friends older than you anyway πŸ˜› You whipper-snapper.

        Well, I’ve described myself as boulder, too, if you remember. I am stone. In all the good ways and bad.

        That Alice in Wonderland film makes me cry, too. But not like the Lion King. Nothing like the Lion King. I basically cry at every single film in existence, especially so if it is Disney. *tut* Bloody Disney. What does it do to me.

      • This is true, but you’re supposed to comfort rather than go along with it. Tsk. That works both ways; the youngest friend I can think of is 18. I am sure you are at least older than that. You old fogey πŸ˜‰

        I do remember. You know what you are? Hard… like a rock.

        I’m sure I would cry at Alice in Wonderland too, but I don’t think I’ve seen it all the way through, unless I watched it when I was a child, which I think I did. It’s the sort of thing that would! Get the flood sirens going just to warn everyone…

        So yeah, I’m now listening to flood sirens on YouTube.

      • I sincerely apologise. It’s just too much fun to tease. I enjoy far more than I should. Aren’t I awful. Hahaha, indeed, I am an old fogey.

        Let’s go to the Bingo hall together, Steven.

        Haha, oh heavens, that rock lark. How did that gem slip my mind? Hilarious. The funniest thing about it was that, the next day, Meggie was clearly deeply wounded by it, for she was like, “I mean, WHO is more like the rock out of us two? YOU ARE. And you get called bloody ‘silk or satin'”. Indeed though, it is true. Perhaps I am like a peach: charmingly soft and delicate from the outside, but if you take a bite too deep, you’ve broken your teeth on the stone.

        Ha, flood sirens. We would need one, yes. Especially if we ever watched a film together. Have you seen Wreck-It Ralph? I love that film so much. Magnificent.

      • I shall rise above your tomfoolery like the beacon of level-headedness and maturity that you know I am.

        Ha! Bingo. Wouldn’t that be amazing? We might see Sherri… πŸ˜‰

        Blimey. It sounds as if she took that remark enormously seriously. Poor Meggie. Ha, a peach. That’s a very accurate analogy. It’s never a good idea to bite a peach stone.

        Fond memories of being rudely awoken by the flood siren tests back in the seaside days. They only did them once a year, for about two minutes. It was always rather sombre, as it meant it was the end of August, and thus, almost the end of the holidays.

        Does Wreck-it Ralph make you cry too? I’ve not seen it.

      • Hahahaha, I’m so telling Sherri you said that.

        I used to go to Bingo with my grandma… as a ten year old or so. I was the youngest in that room by approximately sixty years.

        Ha, she didn’t take it THAT seriously. But to be honest, were I her, I’d probably be the same. After all, her friend was being likened to a silk goddess and she was referred to as a rock, when really, that silk goddess is way more of a rock that she is. We are such opposites in that respect. Meggie looks hard… like a rock, and is slightly rockish, I suppose, but she’s softer on the inside than she looks, whereas I look so lovely and soft on the outside, yet I am a stone inside.

        But what can ya do? πŸ˜›

        Flood sirens? Really. Interesting. Never knew about that. The only siren I’ve ever heard in my life is a tornado siren. Blumin’ America. It was a test run, I might add. Sirens are awful. That WW2 siren, as well. A hideous noise in every way. But then I guess it has to be, to make you pay attention to it.

        You haven’t seen Wreck-It Ralph?! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN? Sort it out, Stevick, my goodness. You really need to see it. See it now. This instant. Of course it makes me cry, though. The question is: what doesn’t make me cry?

      • Don’t tell! Oh dear. I can feel the dreaded smack of the brolly already. 😦

        I don’t think I’ve ever been to bingo. My brother (27) is constantly showing me photographs of he and friends at bingo, as if he’s expecting me to be hugely jealous or something. Apparently the bingo caller has a massive crush on him. I’m sure that’s the only reason he goes.

        “I am a stone inside” sounds a bit cold doesn’t it, Jennifer. You have a very warm heart, and as such, I presume your hands are freezing.

        Ah, yes, the flood sirens on the coast sounded very similar if not identical to the air raid sirens. They have been retired for a few years now, though. This is pretty much how it used to be. If you’re gonna click, I’d advise you turn the volume down first! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKi7hobTDQ

        Hideous noise indeed. You could barely talk over it where we were. It must have been quite something for people who’d been through the war, to hear that every year…

        I didn’t ever view Wreck-It Ralph as the kind of film that would upset me, but then I don’t know that much about it. I certainly won’t be watching it now.

        Well, now you sound like me (yet again). I hope I don’t make you cry. Except with laughter… but that’s just a given.

      • Haha, oh your brother sounds like a right laugh doesn’t he. Hitting it off with the old biddies.

        I do actually have quite cold hands, funnily. People often swat my hand away when I touch their skin, as though I am a pesky fly, exclaiming, “Your hands are so cold!” Well… Maybe YOU’RE too hot. Ever think of that one? (Turning it around on them, y’know). I think I might be a cold-blooded vampire, given the sunlight burns me from the inside out.
        But no, I do have a warm heart, it’s just encased by a shield of stone.

        Ugh, goodness, sirens are one of the worst sounds ever. I never thought of that!! Poor war veterans :/ Jeez. Bless them.

        Ohh no no, it’s not a blubbing film! It’s just me. You know what I’m like. It’s an AMAZING film, it will be a crime against yourself if you do not watch it.

        Ha, you have not made me cry, no.. Perhaps teary with laughter, but no, not sad tears. Which is surprising, really, given your tales of cruelty to women πŸ˜‰

      • Ha, there are very few ‘biddies’ when he goes. Perhaps he’s frightened them all off. It wouldn’t surprise me. He has zero people skills… unlike me, of course.

        The exact opposite for me. Everyone remarks on how warm and toasty my hands are, all the time. I am basically a 6’4” hot water bottle. My heart must be lurking within a cavernous glacier.

        “Why are you always so hot?” They ask. Well, some people are just born with it. πŸ˜‰ high blood pressure, that is.

        Indeed. I often used to think such when I was a bit older and having to withstand these tests. It did (and still does) conjure up images of the war – so I can only imagine how it chimed with those who were there.

        You just get a telephone call and/or text message now. That’s what my parents got in December.

        Is it really that good? It didn’t really seem like my kind of film. Blimey. I don’t know.

        I hate the name ‘Ralph’ with an intense passion. Just want to put that out there.

        Oh well isn’t that a shame πŸ˜‰ All this time I’ve been trying to be terribly mean to you, and you’ve remained completely unfazed by it. This is a ball. Does that make you cry?

        Women are far crueller to me than I could ever dream of being to them (gestures to the top of your latest post)

      • Pffttt, people skills are over-rated.

        Steven, do behave. I just wrote a post claiming how the Winter One has a fire burning within, so how could your heart possibly be a cavernous glacier? It’s obviously going to alter the temperature of your skin, DUH.

        Ha, “Why are you always so hot?” I used to say the exact same thing to my ex, who was also a walking hot water bottle, while pushing him away with my icicle feet. I hated it when he touched me. That sounds like the foundations of a good, healthy relationship right there, doesn’t it. “I hate it when you touch me.” Hahaha. He was TOO HOT. As Meggie likes to remind me these days, actually. Cheers Meggie.

        Ooohh yeah, those text messages. What a horrible system. Not quite so intrusive, I guess, but UGH with the technology. I’m not allowed to get flood warnings via text, even though I basically live on the sea, because I live on a hill, and thus will never get flooded. Even so.

        *gasp of horror* WHAT IS THIS. I am watching Countdown (obviously) as I type this, and I’ve just noticed THE LAPTOP IN DICTIONARY CORNER. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ACTUAL DICTIONARY *faints from shock* This distresses me, and disturbs me. I fear I can never look at Countdown in the same way again. I might just cry, to be honest.

        All right, don’t watch it then. It was just a suggestion, JEEZ STEVICK. But it’s Disney, and Disney is amazing. Always. Forever.

        Ralph is quite the hideous name, yes. I’m surprised it wasn’t a potential name for one of your children, Steven πŸ˜‰

        Speaking of children and names, this reminds me of Rod and Tod for some reason. Saw them while flicking through the telly again the other night. I just cannot stop laughing when I see them now. Cannot stop.

        I believed I did cry the first time ‘This is a ball’ came into play. Saw an advert for The Great British Bake Off earlier by the way. Mary Berry is back on the way!

        Oh, man up πŸ˜‰ I haven’t got a cruel bone in my body *angel face* Can you not see my halo?

      • So true, sista. I mean, look how blissfully happy we are as hermits. (weeps)

        I am laughing so much at “I hate it when you touch me.” A wonderful foundation for a relationship, clearly. Truthfully, it sounds as though you had basically progressed to several years of marriage far before ever getting anywhere near that stage. Yeesh πŸ˜‰

        Imagine how much of an ordeal it is for me, though, given I hate heat, radiating so much of it. Woe is me.

        That seems a bit weird… I would have thought they just distributed them to the whole area. It’s what they do here, but there again, the highest point in Norfolk is about six inches above sea level.

        Ah yes, they brought that in with the new series a couple of weeks back. It was a bit of a shock, but I suppose it just means they have access to new words, like ‘selfie’, and ‘Hewerish’. To be honest, I was more devastated when they replaced the clock and thought I wouldn’t notice. Do you think they’ll let me have the old one?

        I notice Susie tends to have the laptop to one side now, so that we are treated to her cleavage (moral, disappointed face) unlike the first couple of times where she was covered up by it.

        Good grief, no. I would never inflict that on anybody. I’d rather call a child Jenona.

        Bake Off starts 6th August yes! That’s less than two weeks! I would say we shall have to commentate on it, but we will probably just be wittering on in some thread or another, and it will just crop up naturally.

        The Apprentice must be soon too, surely?

        Haha, angel. Well, speaking of which, I have prepared another post dedicated to you and your angelic-ness after that AMAZING poem. It is a portrait of – yes! – you – which I only hope you do not find too creepy/offensive… that’s an advance warning. Be vigilant.

      • Hahaha, you know, that is usually the case. Most hermits are deeply miserable. Or maybe just emotional, intense people. I think that’s the only way one can be a hermit, truthfully.

        Oh goodness, don’t you start. Everyone used to say that to us. “You two are basically an old married couple,” they would say. I was actually talking to someone about him the other day (cannot remember why), and I said how we were basically together for 6 years, and they went, “Really? That’s surprising for this day and age.” I was like …………….

        Go away.

        Hahah, that must be quite traumatic for you, to radiate such heat when, at heart, you are a snowman.

        Ha, ohh, that gem ‘Hewerish’. When was the clock changed? Don’t hate me for asking such a question. If you write a very polite little letter, I am sure they’d let you have the old one πŸ˜‰

        Really? Oh my. Countdown is rapidly going downhill. THIS IS A CRISIS. I bet Nick was behind that one, being the randy and perverted old man he is.

        You know what we should do regarding the Bake Off? Video watch it. That way, we could laugh at each other laughing at the programme (i.e. Mary Berry). How hilarious a thought.

        I have no idea when The Apprentice is on. It should be soon. LOVE THAT SHOW. Way more than the Bake Off.

        Yeeessss, I saw that post before I read this comment. Steven, honestly. Mere words could do it no justice. Such a lovely thing to do, I am so touched by it. Thank you.

      • Emotional people are often miserable, as they see the world for how it really is. What is it they say? Ignorance is bliss. Maybe there’s some truth in that.

        Which is why I wanna come back as a cat. A pompous, snotty, attention-seeking moggie with a eyes of permanent contempt, raucous shout and big fluffy tail, who has an owner, well, like me. If you were a cat, you couldn’t hope for a much better owner than me, really, let’s be honest.

        Why is it surprising? Does this person think all relationships end in six minutes these days? But six years is quite something, when you are in fact only four years old yourself. πŸ˜‰

        A snowman! Oh my goodness, you’ve no idea how much I went all funny at being called a snowman. Is there anything more lovable than a snowman?

        At least, until they go and melt, and break my heart. 😦

        The clock was changed about a year ago I think. I rarely watch Countdown these days in truth, and didn’t know; somebody genuinely emailed me to tell me, they thought I would be that appalled. Before then, it had always the same one, as far as I’m aware. Someone must have broken it… I’m looking at you, Nick.

        I do need a new clock for the kitchen, though. Imagine how cool I’d be to everyone who came round. I HAVE THE COUNTDOWN CLOCK ON MY KITCHEN WALL. Watch the ‘friends’ pile in.

        Hahahaha, how hilarious – it so wouldn’t surprise me if Nick was behind it. Though saying this, he doesn’t seem quite as taken with Susie as Rachel. Shows what he knows.

        Ha, why don’t we just start up WordPress GoggleBox? πŸ˜› Although I’m sure we would be far more entertaining than that. I have never seen an episode of The Apprentice. It’s going to be an exciting autumn.

        Ah, well, as I’ve said, a pleasure! πŸ™‚

      • True, true. Ignorance may be bliss, but I would rather experience a thousand woes than be unaware of true emotion. Indeed, such emotion can be a curse, but it is also a blessing, for as I’ve said before: only emotional people can know and see the deepest beauty in things.

        Haha, I often say that to my mother. “Why can’t I be a cat, seriously? I need to come back as a well-loved, domestic house cat.” I do not doubt you are the best cat owner out there, Stevick.

        Well, clearly. I hope his reaction is not unanimous of all my peers these day, though. It would really be sad if it were… Ha, yup, I am such an ickle babby. How desperately mature I am for a four year old. Or a ten year old, as I now am.

        Snowmen are a glorious creation, yes. So fun. Have you seen Frozen? PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE. Or else I need to have serious words about your lack of Disney film watching. If you have not seen it, you would love it: it’s all about ICE AND SNOW. Apart from this snowman, Olaf, is deluded… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnEB2F_v_cE

        Hahaha, is your kitchen wall big enough to accommodate the Countdown clock?

        Nick obviously has a thing for blondes. He’s so condescending to Susie, it makes me want to hit him. Although, he’s condescending to everyone, to be honest.

        WE SHOULD. Watch it be a smash hit πŸ˜‰ I just love The Apprentice… Maybe it speaks to my inner assertiveness and blatant leadership qualities. Hahaha. The people you get on there, though. I often think my boss and long-times friend should go on it. Can you imagine? Hilarious. Well, you can’t imagine ’cause you don’t know him, but still. He’s not desperately assertive, mind you. He’d be better off sending me πŸ˜‰

        I jest, of course. I would be utterly hopeless on it.

      • I think there are probably times when I would rather I didn’t feel the way I did about certain things, but I would say there are far more when that’s not the case, for the reason you mention. It’s just me, I suppose. It’s the same with being bipolar. If somebody offered a magical cure, for all the torment and pain it causes, I’m still not sure I would take it.

        Oh, I so wish I were a cat. So so much. Haha, well, I’m not sure about the best, Jenona, but certainly a good one from the cat’s point of view, as I basically let them rule the house. It is impossible to stay mad at Oscar Wildcat and co for too long. Impossible.

        Poor Mr. Wildcat is an old, old man now. He turned 16 recently… he has become awfully clingy. As such, he gets even more cuddles.

        I have not seen Frozen. I do not even know of the film. Haha, what did I just watch? Haha, it’s quite cool, actually. Maybe I will look it up.

        The Snowman every Christmas, though. Heart-wrenchingly beautiful and powerful and just *perfect*.

        I’m sure my wall is big enough – the clock is apparently tiny compared to how it looks on TV. A friend who went to a recording a couple of years back told me all the gossip… also that somebody came out and whacked it one because it got stuck. No wonder it needed replacing, really.

        He also SPOKE TO NICK HEWER and I believe even got his autograph. How jealous are we. Oh my, just the thought of being face to face with him. I would not be able to control myself anymore.

        He is horribly condescending, but it is something I now find hilarious where I used to find it disgraceful. He can basically get away with murder now as far as I’m concerned, because he’s so hilarious.

        I don’t know anything about the types of people you get on the show or indeed what contestants even do on the show, so this is all making it terribly exciting. If you were on it, I would tune in every week without fail. Of course I would. Every week watching eagerly in anticipation of you being ‘fired’ πŸ˜‰ (that’s literally the only thing about the show with which I am familiar)

      • I understand that. Indeed such things become a part of who you are, but you shouldn’t let it define you. I would not trade away the darkness of my life, for I would not be who I am today without it; but, it is not that darkness who makes me who I am, it is the fact I got through it that makes me who I am.

        Ha, oh, they’d have a bit of a shocker if I looked after them for a while. I can stay made at cats for an awfully long time. And dogs, actually, but not Kodi. I can never stay mad at my little elephant.

        Cats do go a bit doolally when they get older, don’t they. Senile indeed. Bless him, though. Lots of cuddles.

        FOR GOODNESS SAKE STEVEN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. Watch Frozen!!! Jeez. Its title in itself should be enough to encourage you.
        You just watched a magically singing snowman, Stevick πŸ˜‰

        Oh dear, The Snowman. Teary at the mere thought. So beautiful. I never liked The Snowman and The Snowdog, really… It was all right, but it cannot match the original.

        Oh my, horrible jealous are we. Hahahaa, so true. I just laugh every time I see Nick now, basically, and think of Dairy Milk and other such things. This should make watching The Apprentice this year the best yet. You think he’s condescending in Countdown? My, you have seen nothing. Hilarious.

      • Definitely. That is all true.

        I can stay mad at dogs for a long time, especially if I don’t get on with them that much to begin with (I’m very hit and miss with dogs, I find). But there are some who I’ve had who give me that look and I melt just like they were a cat. A massive, barking cat.

        Hahaha, little elephant.

        It’s true, they do. Sad to see, but I guess it happens to us all eventually. He keeps coming and sitting on the computer mouse at the moment. That just cannot be comfortable, I don’t care what he says. More likely, he’s being clever (he is a clever bugger) and trying to win my attention. He succeeds, too.

        Alright, mother! I will watch Frozen. Sheesh.

        Speaking of frozen and given we were being nostalgic about Sonic fairly recently, remember this zone? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOPV8tKHCTA

        How stupidly easy the Robotnik was, there. But my favourite zone of all. Funky music, too.

        Needless to say, The Snowman has always had me in bits too… in fact the last memory I have of my grandfather is watching that together, so I’m sure that adds to it. I agree, Snowman and The Snowdog wasn’t bad, it was better than I was expecting, but it couldn’t really hope to beat the classic.

        I am certainly excited to see this show, which is quite something as I’ve never thought it would be any good. If only it would blinkin’ well hurry up and get on the telly…..!

  2. Oh Jenny Jen Jen, you have a beautiful voice, and what a lovely song! You do sound just as I imagined and good for you to put together a video giving more background on your book. Seems these vidlogs (?) are the way to go these days. although I think I’ll stick to my photos for now, haha!
    Seriously though, it’s great getting to know you even better…
    But please….don’t mention Christmas. I haven’t recovered from the last one yet… πŸ˜‰ Hugs to you from me lovely one ❀ πŸ˜€ ❀

    • Thank you, dear Sherri P! πŸ™‚ Indeed, it is a very lovely song!
      Yeah, well, talking about my book seemed like a good idea at the time *shrugs*

      Ha, same here, I feel! Last Christmas was a bit on the cruddy side for me. We have a while until it comes around though, so I’m sure we’ll recover by then πŸ˜‰

  3. I most certainly have been pondering over the sound of your voice! In all seriousness though πŸ˜› It’s crazy, how many times I forget our accents are different! You have a most lovely voice, though, especially when singing ❀ (And yay for Owl City :D)

    It's good to hear you talk about your book too! Hearing you read a part of the prologue, hearing the author's own voice speak her words… chills, man, chills πŸ™‚

    • Haha, accents is definitely something that slips your mind when you’re reading what’s typed in front of you! Especially if you’ve never heard the person’s voice before. Easy done πŸ˜‰

      Thanks though, Alex πŸ™‚ Always yay for Owl City! I love that song so much. I’ve actually translated it into Kurpian, and debated whether I should do that same snippet in that ‘language’… Obviously, I am yet to, but I may well. Who knows πŸ˜› I think it sounds surprising nice, ’cause Kurpian can sound a bit odd, in my opinion.

      Yeah, I always thought I should have done a video or something, but it just took me a century to get around it it. Haha, well, glad you liked my voice reading it!

      • Oh, how simple text hides so many things! Sarcasm, accents–it’s just not the same as good old fashioned conversation πŸ˜›

        Ooh, I would love to hear it if you did πŸ˜€ Hehe, I find it funny that you think it sounds odd, considering you’re the creator, but it just goes to show how truly alive the writer’s world becomes, doesn’t it? πŸ™‚

      • Indeed! But we must do the best we can given the circumstances, and that boils down to plain old text πŸ˜›

        Haha, I know. But it is weird. It’s such a… sing-song language – very onomatopoeic. But then, ‘Kurpian’ actually means “guardian song”, so.. I guess it works.
        Oh, my world is sooo alive πŸ˜‰ At least in my mind. Which is all that matters, in the end.

"What does your heart tell you?" - ToO, chpt. 32

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