What’s Behind a Scarf?

I said my next post would be about Ilimoskus. Quite evidently, this post is not about Ilimoskus. I am getting to it, though – honest! It’s just this matter took precedence for me on a personal level, and getting this post out the way means that I am now free to run through Ilimoskus Valley (there is such a place, by the way – the elementals told me so 😉 ). So. My next post will be about Ilimoskus (promise!), and I shall tell you something I should have mentioned like two months ago. I’m being my classic blue whale self again. But! Down to business. 

This post is the product of something I have been thinking more about over the past few weeks or so. They are thoughts I would like to voice for one reason or another. Perhaps, it is merely a way for me to clarify and/or organise these very thoughts in my mind.

But this is also a rather personal post. I am going to be sharing things I have never really shared with people before. Gosh, aren’t you lucky folk 😉

The last thing I want to do is offend anyone who happens to read this, so please know that I am purely expressing my thoughts and opinions as fairly as I may, and, truly, I always refrain from judgement on the matter. You will find out why if you read on.

***

Now, where to start? This is surprisingly challenging to express. I shall start with this question: How many of you out there know a woman who wears a headscarf? To be honest, I am expecting most of you to say “None”, or at the very least, “A few”. I myself personally know two women who wear headscarves. They were old friends of mine. One was called Andrea; the other, Nadia. But why did they wear headscarves? And, if you do not know a woman who wears a headscarf, and thus cannot ask her, why do you think women wear headscarves? I believe it is fair to say that most people would link headscarves to religious connotations, no? Indeed, the women I have spoken to/seen who cover their hair, be it with a hijab or scarf or headband, do so for religious reasons. My old friend Nadia was a Muslim, and although she never wore a hijab to school, she did in her home life, and her sisters were also wearers of it. My old friend Andrea was a Plymouth Brethren who I never saw not wearing a headscarf. For those of you who don’t know, the Plymouth Brethren are a sect of Christians, and the women wear headscarves. There happened to be several families of Plymouth Brethren in the city I used to live in, and indeed, in my old house a family of Plymouth Brethren moved in opposite me, and I saw them going to and fro always in their headscarves. And, actually, when I moved farther west in the country, I had only been here for a few months when I travelled to a place called Snowdrop Valley, and on the hideously steep and muddy walk there I saw some Plymouth Brethren (would you believe it!) also making the journey. The women were wearing their headscarves and long skirts (not ideal when walking amongst nature at the best of times, I can assure you, but I imagine it is even less ideal in the mud) accompanied with walking boots. Good on them, though, I say! I feel I have digressed somewhat…

But, it is safe to say the vast majority of women don’t wear headscarves. And so, inevitably, those who do wear headscarves tend to stand out amongst others, purely because of a piece of fabric upon their heads. How do you feel about that? Does it matter? It matters if people judge them for it, most certainly. Or make assumptions.

One thing my mother always said to me when I was growing up was, “Never assume.” 

I find it quite sad, in a way, how everyone makes the assumption that a woman wearing a full head covering must be a Muslim, no matter other external factors. Does it matter if she is wearing a headscarf, really? And, more importantly, does it matter if she’s a Muslim? But, of course, due to society’s warped perceptions of Islam, we wrongly judge or condemn the religion and culture. Perhaps, instead of judging from a distance, we should ask a Muslim woman why she covers and let her explain her reasoning. In this world, we seem to believe that we can know all the answers without ever asking a question. Okay, maybe a woman wears a headscarf for religious reasons. But maybe – just maybe – a woman wears a headscarf because she’s had hair loss due to illness. Or maybe – just maybe – a woman wears a headscarf because she wants to, because she likes it. Do any of those reasons matter? Do any of those reasons affect us in our day to day lives? Are any of those reasons more significant than the other? I’ll let you answer those.

But Muslims aren’t the only religious women to wear headscarves, you know. Clearly, some denominations of Christianity do, as I mentioned the Plymouth Brethren, and indeed, it was very commonplace for Christian women to cover their heads in some form in times gone by. Why did that change, I wonder? It stopped completely in the 1960s, I believe. I would love to know what happened there. There is a passage in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, that speaks of head coverings. I would like to know why Christians these days seem to conveniently skip over that part. And Jewish women wear headscarves too, don’t you know, called tichels. But headscarves are not a common sight in the western world, are they? No.

But why on earth have I been pondering endlessly about headscarves, and their significance (or indeed, lack of significance) recently? Because, my friends, I wear headscarvesBut why do I wear them? Well. That is the question, isn’t it.

hss

I have gradually been wearing them more and more frequently over time, hence why the subject has been more on my mind, I suppose. But I think, more than anything, the reason it has been on my mind is because I get so frustrated. About what? Not about wearing the headscarves themselves, not at all, but rather about other people. And then I get even more frustrated because I’m allowing myself to get frustrated with/by other people. Viscous circle. It’s the passing comments, you see, and the looks. I can’t stand it sometimes, and I’m not even a wearing a hijab. It makes me wonder what happened to people following the saying, “Live and let live”. Of course, it is quite possible I am merely being overly sensitive or paranoid about it, but it cannot just be uncanny coincidence. I got looks from people when I lived in my old city, and I get looks here in this town – looks that say, ‘What have you got on your head? Why are you wearing that?’ And the thing is, maybe this isn’t really a problem, but I hate standing out more than anything. I truly do. I don’t want to be noticed when I’m out and about, I just want to get on with my business being ignored, but I know that when I wear a headscarf – something I willingly choose to do – that I am going to be noticed more with it on. It’s hard for me, it really is. But why should I deny myself something I believe is important – and indeed important to me – just because of other people’s looks?

I have had comments on it, too, as I said:

“Have you joined a cult or something?”

“You look like a gypsy.” 

“You look like a 50s housewife.”

“You look very… summery… today.” *eyes my outfit and headscarf scrupulously*

“What are you wearing that for?” – said in that tone. I’m sure you know the one.

Usually I just laugh it off, or completely ignore them, but it does hurt when it’s from family and friends, you know? Does it matter why? Must you comment? I wear headscarves for deeply, deeply personal reasons (and yes, entwined with my faith), and so I feel like it is a direct attack on myself as a person when someone makes a comment, or looks at me with eyes of scrutiny. It serves me right for being so sensitive, I guess. But it makes me believe that wearing a headscarf takes some form of bravery. Women who step out their houses wearing full head coverings – or indeed any covering with confidence – are far braver than I. I guess it is just a matter of me learning how to let go of the reservations I have, to let go of what other people may think. Because, really, why should I care what other people think or say? I shouldn’t. Not at all. But I am going through a tough time emotionally, and such sentiments of courage are hard to not only grasp but also apply. I can only pray for guidance on the matter, for enlightenment on the right route to pursue.

I started wearing headscarves after my traumatic accident in August 2013. I’m still not sure what it was about the accident that led me to it, but, as foolish as this may sound, when I had a scarf wrapped around my head, it felt like a hug, and it brought me such solace it occasionally brought me to tears. And, to this day, there is little else that brings me more inner peace. It’s strange, really, for it is just some fabric on my head. Still. I suppose it is what it symbolises. To me.

It is my hope this year to grow more confident in wearing headscarves, not dwelling on what others may think or say in response to it. I am pleased that confidence is slowly coming upon me 🙂 Headscarves bring me comfort, and comfort is something every heart needs. And, most certainly, it is something my heart has been in dire need of for too many years. Why should I deny my heart this?

Let’s share some confidence now, shall we?

hs1

My name is Jennifer K. Marsh.

I wear headscarves.

So what if I look like I’m in a cult?

So what if I look like a gypsy?

So what if I look like a 50s housewife?

So what if I maybe dress a little different to other women?

This is me. This is who I am.

Deal with it 😉

***

If you see a woman out and about wearing a headscarf, leave her be. Treat her like a fellow human being, not as if she is a display at a museum at which you may gawp. Do not assume you know the reasons behind her wearing a headscarf, for even if the reasons seem plainly overt, you will never know the true emotional complexities she has behind it. Do not judge her for it. Do not scrutinise her for perhaps standing out in a crowd purely for some fabric upon her head. Chances are, she is not judging you. She is simply trying to live her life as only she knows how. And, if you must ask about it, do so in an interested and compassionate manner. I say all this as a woman who wears headscarves, as a woman in the western world who knows, to some degree, how challenging it can be to stay true to yourself when others so frequently knock you back.

Why does a woman wear a headscarf? What’s really behind that scarf? Who can say? I don’t think it matters.

Does it matter?

***

Peace and blessings to you.

I hope your New Year has thus far treated you to joy,

and I hope it continues to do so.

~ JKM

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24 responses to “What’s Behind a Scarf?

  1. I have a friend of many years who wears the hijab. The amount of ‘oh, you look like a terrorist’ remarks made towards her – from friends, as though it was hilarious and perfectly okay to make that kind of remark – was quite unsettling and ridiculous.

    I really like your headscarves! As it happens, I was going to remark on your cool scarf yesterday when I noticed your gravatar had changed, but didn’t want you swooning all over the place (yet again).

    “I would just like to say, I do not get dressed every morning and go, ‘Oh, I’ll take a picture of myself now,’ ” – Haha, I chuckled at this… I can totally imagine you doing just that.

    It doesn’t matter. Society blows.

    • Ha, society does blow, you’re quite right. It is ridiculous though, yaahhh. But correct answer, Stevick 😉 It doesn’t matter indeeeed. It’s just the last thing you want, those moronic comments, when you’re struggling enough as it is, you know? *tuts* People. MISANTHROPE.

      Aw, well thank you. Of course, we couldn’t have you publicly complimenting me now, could we? I need to get some more, actually. Charity shops are good places to look, you know, in case you were interested. Which you obviously are. I can imagine you rocking out a scarf and looking ever so dashing 😉

      I really, really don’t do that. I want to make this perfectly clear. At least I don’t draw myself 😉 Hahaha, you know I’m joking dearest, there there *pats head*

      • Indeed, people blow too. Who needs people, really, when we have our cats (still crying at ‘because I can’t read’… why, it’s not even funny!?) and the Ilimoskus…

        Hahaha, I’m not so sure a headscarf would suit me quite as it does you. It would be interesting, though, indeed. I had a phase where I used to wear a beanie hat (or something similar) and I hilariously had a bowler hat when I was about sixteen. That’s about as far as me and headgear have gone. Maybe a headscarf is what I’ve always needed. Maybe I will have a scarf made for you with Nick Hewer’s portrait printed onto it. Imagine that.

        Of course you don’t do that, that’s what made the prospect so funny. HEY!!! Thanks mate. I should really do myself more often… because it’s actually not much of a tumultuous experience. I don’t care if it goes awfully, ‘cos it’s only me. It’s when I’m doing portraits of other people, I basically become petrified that they’re going to give it that look of disappointment that I am oh so used to 😉 and then I’ll go cry in a corner somewhere.

        WAHEY, pat on the head number two! (punches air, adds to chart)

        Do check the label, because I can’t read.

        (crying…)

      • Oh, indeed. Cats and Ilimoskus ALL THE WAY. Do you know, the Ilimoskus have their own cat-like creatures? Resembling more big cats, mind, like tigers and such. Ilimoskus cats? The ultimate.

        Just flicked through my nine thousand Ilimoskus notebooks to find the notes on these cats. Such love for the Ilimoskus. LOVE. Obviously I would say that, but still. I will get better at drawing them. I WILL. However, quite unsettling, I did not create a water cat!! This shall not do. Hmmm, what to dooooo for that one.

        Hahaha, oh my goodness. That… is border-line stalker, no? Imagine if I went onto Countdown and wore that scarf. He would love it. Unquestionably. I’ll tell you what I need: I need a scarf with twigs or leaves or trees on. What better for the Eco Goddess? Find one for me. Or one with stags, of course. I actually have a scarf with stags on, but it’s a scarf scarf, you know…

        I can imagine the pressure of drawing someone else. How awful. Of course, if you mess up your own face, no worries 😉 Now I’m just thinking back to that Susie Dent fiasco. Hilarious.

      • Well tigers are the most beautiful creatures on earth, so that only makes the Ilimoskus life more endearing. Turn us into elementals, will you.

        https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2351/2140485297_9a774dd8e5.jpg – I mean seriously, Jennifer. Melting here. Then my heart breaks at how few are left…

        That would be quite a step, to get a Nick scarf. He probably wouldn’t even notice. Too busy trying to woo you. Please go on Countdown though. I would not stop laughing, and I feel nor would you throughout the entire episode.

        Sighhh. I know what you’re after: https://moodsaplenty.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/susie-dent-awful1.jpg

        Nearly a year ago. Insanity itself.

      • That’s ’cause Ilimoskus are the best. Duh 😉 Ohhh, don’t – I so would if I could!

        Oh look, how adorable. It is indeed crushing about wildlife. But let’s not depress ourselves.

        So, while typing this, I’m rummaging through the mountain of paper on my desk, in my draws and in my files, and it would appear I have lost – or certainly misplaced – the drawing I did of my dragon. DARN IT. Did I ever show you that? The one in this post, anyway https://jkmarsh12.wordpress.com/2014/09/19/the-dragon-of-dreams/

        *sigh*

        All I ever do is lose my drawings.

        OH NO. FOUND IT. Ha!

        Oh but goodness, me on Countdown would be quite the episode, no? Imagine if I ended up in dictionary corner somehow, being there for an entire WEEK. How glorious. What laughter. And I’d have to listen to Nick make snide remarks about my stories all the time to secretly disguise his love for me.

        Hahaaaaa, it’s not even that bad a drawing!! I think it makes me laugh so much because of Photoshop crashing. And I can just imagine you twitching.

      • Tsk, just learn magic and make it happen. It’s hardly difficult, is it? (haha, ‘hardly difficult’ – is that an oxymoron? Or any distant relative of the oxymoron?)

        I was admittedly a little apprehensive to Google ‘tigers in love’ but it returned some beautiful photographs.

        Don’t they look so wonderfully content? They are just perfect. Sigh… I wish I were a tiger. A white tiger especially. They are like the wintry cousins of the orange tiger.

        I have seen this dragon before. Oh no! Maybe he flew away when you weren’t looking?

        OH! Well, that was quite the roller-coaster of suspense and worry. Talk about dragon it out.

        Hahahaha, the idea of you in Dictionary Corner. This must must must happen. You and Susie – what a dream team 😉 Nick would be so sycophantic toward you, waving your book around and talking about how great it is. And Rachel would obviously be jealous.

        Be assured, though, that, when things get terribly bleak for Countdown and I am put in Nick’s chair, I will not rest until you give in and accept the endless calls to come and do Dictionary Corner. Don’t expect any wooing from me, though. I’ll be too busy staring dreamily into Susie’s eyes, and trying to impress her by discussing etymology.

        Hahaha, even Photoshop knew it was dreadful, Jenona. I was a bit twitchy, yes, but also kinda relieved that the abomination would never see the light of day. Or so I thought.

      • Oo, what a good question. I don’t know. That’s a question for Susie Dent! I should tweet her.

        Aww, look. How lovely that is. White tigers are indeed like wintery cousins. I actually have a big white tiger toy my dad acquired for me a thousand years ago. It lives on top of my wardrobe…

        Haha, a roller coaster indeed. Oh, a pun! First one of the year, if I am not mistaken? About dragons, too. How splendid.

        Ha, I would SO do Dictionary Corner. How could refuse? It would be too much. I would basically spend the whole time sniggering in the corner at the thought of you watching, and Nick’s snide scowls would undoubtedly send me into hysteria.

        Imagine you in the chair. Goodness. You’d be a worse flirt than Nick with Rachel.

      • As soon as I sent that I was all, “You idiot. That’s not an oxymoron at all. You have just embarrassed yourself in front of the linguistics queen.” It isn’t, is it? I’m not sure it’s even anything… 😛 A dippy moment, perhaps… though your uncertainty has made me feel less dim.

        Also, ‘linguistics queen’. How many nicknames do you WANT?

        I want a white tiger. Quite badly. They are perfect. Have I told you that my mother held a baby tiger once? I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so jealous.

        Ohhhh, PLEASE get famous and do Dictionary Corner. This would make my life. I bet Rachel would adopt a headscarf if you started rocking them on Countdown.

        I am reputedly popular with elderly women, for some reason, so Countdown host is the perfect vocation for me, clearly. Rachel? Why would I bother with her if Susie Dent was sat opposite me? “Yeah yeah, Rachel, you did the numbers. NOW SUSIE……. it’s time for the twentieth origin of words today.”

        She’d love it.

      • Ha, linguistics queen? Hardly, Stevick, but how very kind. I am quite sure it is not an oxymoron, but it should certainly be something… It’s a strange one, at the very least. And don’t get lairy at my number of nicknames when you’re the one giving them to me. Behave, man, honestly. *tuts*

        Wow. That was a lot of ‘so’ to take in. How envy-evoking indeed. Remember Meggie touched one, and I showed you proof? What an experience.

        Hahaha, ‘please get famous’. Well that’s interesting to read. But obviously, get famous PURELY to do Dictionary Corner. Duh. I have had so many friends say to me, “Yeah, but when you’re a famous author…..” *sigh*
        Haha, Rachel wouldn’t rock the headscarf anywhere near as well as I do, let’s be honest 😉

        So basically, you would be the total opposite of Nick, because he forever praises Rachel and seems to snort at Susie all the time. Gosh, Rachel wouldn’t be able to cope, would she? She’d strop off the set, throwing her whiteboard pen down in the process.

      • Siggghh, well it’s your own fault for being so wonderfully dynamic and talented in so many departments, forcing me to fabricate such a ridiculous number of nicknames in an attempt to cover as many of them as possible.

        Do you see? I’m practicing my Nick smarm routine for Countdown. Also, haha… NICKname. No wonder you enjoy so many of them. I suppose your ultimate ‘Nick’name would just be Jennifer Hewer…

        I remember Meggie touching a tiger, yes. I’m more jealous of the holding a cub, though. I’d probably be terrified if I were doing what Meggie did. I mean, what if it got up or something? Scary… whereas a little bubby tiger’s just lwike a wiwwle pwitty kwitty kwat awww.

        Haha, well surely that’s the goal of anyone who’s done anything recognisable. They don’t do all this stuff to become famous. They do it in the hope that it’ll one day lead to them being asked over to Dictionary Corner.

        When you’re a famous author, I’ll be able to say I know you 😉 and shall brag about it endlessly to everybody.

        Of course Rachel couldn’t pull off a headscarf like you. Her hair is nothing compared to yours. Indeed, she would find it hard suddenly being neglected of creepy, leery remarks, wouldn’t she. But it still hurts me when Nick is condescending or rude toward Susie, so I should do my best to emphasise that she is indeed the owner of Countdown, and the queen of linguistics. Hmm, hold the phone, I thought that was you… maybe you can fight over the title on set. But how would you do battle? Mud wrestling?

      • Hahaha, smarm indeed. What are you on, man? Ha! ‘Nick’name. How had we not seen that before? But, obviously, Stevick. HEWER FOR LIFE.

        Okay, I’ve just disturbed myself. Moving on.

        Oh yes, I’d much rather hold a cub. However… a cub does not have the majesty of a fully grown tiger. It’s people interacting with elephants that sends me into fits of envy. Words cannot describe my love for elephants.

        Ha, yes, and then you’ll no doubt dish out all my secrets. But that’s okay, ’cause I’ll just dish out yours while in Dictionary Corner 😉

        Ah, yes, doesn’t the curly hair make it? Ha. My hair has been strangely ringlety recently – more so than usual. Tight ringlets, I mean. See, if this were back in my school days, people would be pinging my curls and then sniggering. Or sticking a pencil up the centre of the ringlet. *sigh* What an endless source of amusement my hair is. Though, to be fair, there is something ridiculously amusing about pinging my curls. If ever we meet, you must ping one.

        Mud wrestling? Surely it would be more apt for us to have a battle of WORDS. Of which Susie would undoubtedly win. She is the linguistics queen here, not I.

      • Maybe you should tweet Susie and ask the origin of ‘nickname’. Given its Nick-ness, she would so do it on the show. AND I BET SHE SAYS YOUR NAME. 😦

        Jennifer Hewer.

        This is true. It has been a worryingly long time since I’ve been to a zoo to see some majestic tigers, you know. Maybe I should fix that. Ohh indeed, elephants are so clever, aren’t they. They don’t do much for me, to be honest, but I can see the appeal. And they are fascinating creatures.

        Oh dear, I can just imagine casually flicking Countdown on, one day in the future, and catching the tail-end of your anecdote… “…and that’s how he became Prince of Norway.” Cut to Nick, of course looking enthralled.

        That does sound like fun. I’m sure I would have done it had you suggested it or not. I do like messing up hair.

        I thought you were going to get proper Mother Jenny disappointed at my suggestion of mud wrestling. I laughed for a while at the fact I even said it. But fine, have it your way.

        I’m now laughing at the idea of me hosting the show opposite you and Susie… and you and her having disagreements over who is the true linguistics queen, breaking into a catfight, screaming, pulling hair, throwing drinks and so forth. All while the clock is going and the contestants are trying to make words. Hilarious.

      • YES. I should. I should go, “Susie Dent, linguistics queen, what is the origin of the word ‘nickname’?” She would love it. Of course she’d say my name, given I called her a queen 😉

        Hahahaha, that is EXACTLY what will happen 😉 Not only that, but why you are Prince Stevick of Hairyfootville. In fact, I can’t even remember how that came about. Weren’t we talking about hobbits? SHELOB. Sorry. I just felt the need to throw that in there.

        Ha, I was going to disapprovingly comment on the mud wrestling thing, indeed going all Mother Jenny, but I didn’t want to encourage such silly behaviour so I decided to ignore you instead. Which is always quite a motherly act, I feel.

        That scenario made me laugh. Dear oh dear. And everyone just completely ignores us in the process, and it comes back to Dictionary Corner to authorise the words the contestants said, and we have dishevelled hair and ripped clothes.

      • You could probably get away with calling her a queen, goddess (which she is) or whatever. If I tried that, she’d probably have me for sexual harrassment.

        Yes, we were discussing Hobbits somewhere in the gloomy, murky depths of the past twelve months. FOUND IT! https://moodsaplenty.wordpress.com/2014/07/14/the-joker/comment-page-1/#comment-2344

        It never ceases to amuse me combing back through these comment streams. “Do you have hairy feet? YOU HOBBIT.” I love the sudden and unsettling ‘YOU HOBBIT’, before you’d even received an answer to your question.

        Also, how is the Ilimoskimobile coming along?

        That was very motherly of you, actually. Pats head. Well done. This stands you in good stead for when Rod and Tod arrive.

        Hahaha, everyone was so busy concentrating on their little letters game that they missed the real entertainment. And then the mud wrestling.

      • Am I sensing some bitterness there, Stevick? From you? Never 😉

        Hahaha, reading that back. Funny funny. Of course, that little joke was all my doing. Indeed, the leaping straight to the ‘YOU HOBBIT’ accusation amused me. What am I like.

        Sadly, the Ilimoskimobile is not coming along at all. I completely forgot about that! I can’t even remember what it was supposed to be like. Tut tut, Jennifer.

        You sound surprised. Of course it was motherly of me. Since I am, according to most people, a mother already. Ha. HOORAY for the head pat. What a proud moment.

        And where would the mud be on the Countdown set, Stevick? You do not think these things through.

      • I am never bitter! (shakes fist)

        Wasn’t the Ilimoskimobile the car that’s invisible to everyone but one small girl? I keep clinging on to that part of the plot as it’s all I remember 😉 Think of all it could get up to though, in that case, and all the places you could drive. PRIVATE ROAD means NOTHING to the Ilimoskimobile! Well, as long as that small girl isn’t about. I hope she’s not a tell-tale.

        Well, Mother Jenny you most certainly are. Hurry up and have a baby. Perhaps I’ll have to frogmarch you up to see Nick Hewer to speed things up.

        Errmm, how about that circular platform bit in the middle before the contestants? Cover that with mud. I don’t know. I’m just still laughing at the idea I even said it.

      • Haha, I wouldn’t say ‘small girl’, though – just ‘girl’. She is fifteen, after all. Imagine indeed though. What a caper that would be. (Now, since using the word ‘caper’, I have ‘Jack and Jill’ in my head.)

        Goodness, and this reminds me of a time when I was in the car with a friend, years ago now, and his toddler brother was in it too, and there was a nursery rhyme CD playing for him, and I started singing along to THE GRAND OF DUKE OF YORK, and my friend gave me the ultimate look of disgust it was hilarious.

        However, this girl is a slight tell-tale, I suppose, for in Book 2 she approaches her parents on the matter. And her sister thinks she is on drugs.

        ‘Anastasia – still wearing a frown as deep as a gorge – finally managed to express the thoughts swirling around in her head. “Liz, have you taken drugs?” she asked…’

        I half die from hysteria, half die from disgust, regarding this talk of Nick being the father of my baby. It is the greatest mystery in the world as to how I do not yet though have a baby, do you not agree? Maybe I should run an orphanage and be like Miss. Hannigan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDkEXszYtdo

  2. Ah you beautiful woman you! I love your headscarves, personally, and if they bring you comfort and happiness, then all the better. All those naysayers are most likely jealous of you because their heads are not being fondly hugged by a scarf.

    There were quite a few Muslim girls at my high school (and I’m sure plenty at my university too, I just don’t notice as often with such a large number of people) and I always admired their hijabs because they’re so pretty, the way they frame their faces. And there was another girl I saw in the halls all the time who always wore a headscarf tied tight to her head. I think she did it for religious reasons as well, but her scarves were also quite beautiful.

    I’ve actually always liked headscarves. I don’t think I know anyone who wears one not for religious reasons, but I just love the way they look. I would try one out myself, to be honest, but that I have no idea what I’d do with it 😛

    But you keep being you–confident and bold and proud of yourself and your wonderful headscarves. Hopefully one day people will get the message that we’re allowed to do whatever we want with our head coverings and hairstyles and whathaveyou, and stop being so darn critical.

    • Hehe, well thank you dearly, Alex. Kind words from a kind heart. They don’t know how lovely it is to be hugged by a scarf!

      Hijabs are so terribly pretty, aren’t they. Truly very beautiful. There are lots of pretty things in the world, if people only looked for them.

      I believe I know OF people who wear headscarves occasionally, not for religious reasons, just as a sort of fashion thing, you know, and again that is fine, for it does not matter. Each to their own. But no, I would boldly say 95% of people who do wear them do so for religious reasons 😛
      Do try one, though, if you want to! ^^ They really aren’t that hard to work with, so long as you don’t start with an awkward fabric like silk or satin or chiffon. They are a nightmare. But you get the hang of it pretty quickly. And there are lots of video tutorials online anyway. My mother once said to me, “How did you learn to tie your scarf like that?” And I was like… Huh?? haha! “Err.. I don’t know, I just did it. Practise?”

      Or, actually, if the thought of wrangling with a scarf unnerves you, you can buy wide headbands, which give a similar kind of look 🙂

      But thank you again, truly. Your encouragement is deeply treasured. People are so horribly critical, aren’t they. And yet I always seem to be surprised by this. Maybe the message will get out someday indeed. We can only hope. Still, compassion keeps an open door, and others are welcome to walk through it whenever they are ready to.

  3. I am incensed by ignorant people, and that’s all I can say. (*and then she goes on and says a lot more, ha*). I’ve had years of watching my daughter get ‘looks’ from stupid and rude people because of her style of dress, which, btw, is stylish and I love it. Small town rudeness…never could abide it. If you lived in Brighton nobody would bat an eyelid and that’s why I love it there (just spent a weekend there with my boys and Lovely Girlfriend) because it is so cosmopolitan and you can be whatever you want to be. Here, you can’t even walk into a place without everyone staring. My daughter found that very hard when she moved back here, as in America if it considered very rude to stare at people. Here, we seem to do it as a hobby and God forbid you should look any differently at people if they should not look like the ‘norm’, whatever that is. You are a beautiful young woman and I think you look gorgeous in headscarves. My mum used to wear them all the time and I thought she was the most glamorous person alive (well, she was a 50’s housewife, so that is expected!) but of course it was the fashion then and now only the Queen wears headscarves like that, ha! My mum also wore long gloves with buttons down the sides…which I loved playing with as a little girl…I could go on, so I’ll shut up now 🙄
    So my lovely Jenny Jen Jen…never fear, wear your scarves proudly and don’t let ignorant criticisms from rude people stop you. You are far, far better than that and you know your own heart. That is far more important ❤

    • Oh, I too am incensed. Some people are just infuriating. But, forgive and forget eh.

      Hmm, yes, small town are worse, being more sheltered and insular, I suppose. Though, when in Salisbury (a city of around 50,000), there were still plenty of intolerant people! I certainly think some places are full with more judgemental people. Salisbury was obviously one of those places.

      But yes, I know what you mean about the States! My auntie forever says, regarding dress, that Americans are far more accepting and basically don’t care! You can walk out in your pyjamas and no one bats an eye. Of course, she has not done this, but she has seen someone in their dressing gown before! And while I was over there in 2013, I went out in my yoga pants and flip-flops (half because I couldn’t be bothered to change, half because I wanted to test this theory). Not one look. Completely normal. I felt so wrong being out in public that sloppily dressed, mind. That’s just the British for you, though. Americans don’t “dress up”, whereas here, we are surprisingly judgemental over attire. I hadn’t realised it before! Even popping out to the shops, everyone dresses ‘appropriately’, for lack of a better word. I am certainly growing to care less about the looks I receive, though, which is such a relief. I am sure I will grow evermore confident the more confident I become with myself.

      But thank you Sherri, those are very kind words.

      Aw, the 50s was such a glamorous era! Isn’t it funny how fashions and times change. Long gloves are always so elegant, aren’t they, and I’m sure your mother was a wonderfully elegant lady! I love long gloves. Maybe I should get myself some 😉

      I know my heart indeed, and may it always guide me. And may yours always guide you, too! ❤

  4. Dear Jennifer:

    Well, since you asked what my heart tells:

    I have had my own problems letting my light shine in the world. I eventually made a connection to something that gives me that feeling of being embraced all of the time. I won’t be specific, because my experience is my own. But the clue was for me to realize that ugly looks and comments are ways stealing our light. That’s why they make us feel so wounded inside. I eventually learned to look at them as a way of people saying “Gee, I’m so jealous of your light.” and then to simply think, when they came my way “No, you can’t eat it. I’ve made this safe place for beautiful spirits to surround me, and we’re just fine by ourselves – so little wounded things that were stolen away, come back to me!” Where it became really powerful, however, was when I went beyond that and said in my heart: “Gee, it sounds like there’s a part of your energy that wants to be with me instead of with you. Thank-you for your gift.”

    It normally takes only once or twice and people choose to be nice to me.

    Blessings on your journey!

    Brian

    • Hello there, Brian.
      Thank you for sharing your heart’s thoughts ^^

      These are beautiful and powerful thoughts you have shared. I had never considered it that way before. Thank you for opening my eyes to this! And I suppose, if we learn to keep our light shining despite others trying to steal it away, the people of the world can continue to draw from this light. Our gift to them, as their energy is a gift to us.

      Blessings, wherever you go.

"What does your heart tell you?" - ToO, chpt. 32

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