Umeraard-ite (Glowing Heart Day)

I am basically writing this post specifically tailored for Prince Stevick the Agwikus, and indeed writing it purely because of him. But writing this will induce many smiles for me, which can only be a good thing, for as of late I have been having quite a rotten time of it, and it is nice to forget your heart’s woes by distracting it with laughter, wouldn’t you agree…?

But before I get to the smiles, let me just briefly overview why things have been so rotten, and why my soul has been so unbelievably miserable recently. As most of you will know, I have been dealing with my mental health situation… It is a dingy, grim little alleyway to get yourself through, let me tell you. Anyway,  2015 has not got off to a good start. I tripped over through the transitional gate and fell flat on my face. But, no matter, I’m picking myself and dusting myself off. It’s fine. My mother became horribly ill and spent a week in hospital, so I had to look after my disabled brother for a time and that just became unbearable because he hits me and screams at me blah blah. And my therapist dropped a bombshell on me the other week which, upon arriving home after the session, made me cry for the rest of the day. There are sticky situations, and then there are deathly consuming viscid situations, and then there’s the situation I’m in… 😦

I swear, all I have been doing this year is crying. Sobbing. You know when you cry so deeply that, when inhaling, you can feel you soul tremble? Yeah. That.

But the misery does not end there. Ilimoskus, anyone? Anyone heard me mention that before? 😉 My laptop got some hideous virus not too long ago, rendering the stupid thing useless and ruining all my writing files. And then, as if all my technology planned to conspire against me, my main writing USB drive became corrupt… And my Book 2 manuscript file became corrupt and I could no longer access it… And my Times of Old manuscript – the one I have spent a lifetime re-editing – was wiped completely, as were my website files, and also another insanely important document for the Ilimoskus story. And because my backups (on my laptop) had too messed up… Well… I’m not even going to attempt to explain how I felt. But I cried. Again. A lot. Of course. However, my eldest brother is a technological miracle worker and saved the day, PRAISE BE. And now I have forked out on an IronKey USB (brother’s recommendation), because that is NOT happening again. Ever. Nope. Not having it.

Anyway… Moving on from depressing things…




I happen to share my birthday with a few famous faces, which therefore makes my birth date the best ever. No? Oh. Well, allow me to reveal their faces to you, all the same:

Charles Darwin – a man I hold deep respect for.

Abrahaaaaaaaaaam Lincoln

Gromit the Dog!

As you can see, I share my birthday with some marvellous fellows. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THEM ALL. Also, if you do not know who Gromit is, I feel you have been deprived in life for not knowing the classic that is Wallace and Gromit – product of the wonderful Aardman Animations.

Did anyone notice Gromit’s eye roll upon opening the singing card? That is rather accurate to my response to birthday jubilations and the like. As is this:

I am referring to Squidward, you understand, not Spongebob and Patrick. But oh, the old Spongebob episodes are glorious things. But I am not a birthday celebrator. At all. It’s just not who I am, not what I do.


It’s my birthday. I therefore received some gifts, which is always a very kind gesture from people. But I am here to share some with you (and when I say ‘you’, I really mean Stevick. But you, too 😉 )

I shall save the best ’til last. But let’s start with this:


This is an owl mug. I laughed upon opening it. And I shall tell you why I laughed. Stevick and I have been having the most ridiculous (hilarious) conversation about Owl City and Umbrella and Ilimoskus (don’t even ask) recently, and then I am given an owl mug. Which reminded me of Owl City. And thus of our conversation.

And so I move on to my next little gift:


So, I happened to get two coasters for my birthday this year. This is one of them. A stag. Look at it, bellowing with ferns stuck on its antlers. Hilarious. So in love with stags/deer.

And this is the second coaster I received:


From my dearest darling Meggie, of course. Who else? Yesterday a large parcel came in the post, from my darling, and when I opened it today I was treated to an array of little gifts in a box. All marvellous, obviously. And on this particular coaster Meggie had stuck a Post-It Note on it, and it read: ‘This is some genuine law advice from me.’ I should probably explain that she is in Law. Love her. I howled (laughed) at it all.

And on the mention of Meggie, this was the card she got me:


I swear, Meggie and I make it our mission in life to out-do each other with the cards we send. They are always hysterical affairs, inside and out. On the inside of this one she wrote, ‘This card is an image of us trying to seduce men. Accurate, no?’ The love I have for this girl cannot be described.

And finally, I reveal what you’ve all been waiting for. Or at least Stevick, anyway, since the rest of you have no knowledge of this. Drum roll, please.



Oh, sorry, I mean Higi Hewer. That man has such illegible handwriting.

I honestly spent forever laughing this morning when opening the envelope that enclosed this little delight. I have laughed so much today. It has been lovely. Though, I won’t lie, there were tears earlier on, but short-lived! How can I possibly be sorrowful when such hilarity surrounds me?

How I must thank Stevick for arranging this, and how we must both thank Countdown for letting it become a reality.

Here is a close up of the man.


What a smirk.

But that was not the end of my giggles. He had also written on the back!


You can’t really see it, but it is written in green ink. Nick knows me so well, clearly, for green is by far my favourite colour. But, as I said: illegible handwriting. If anyone can work out what on earth it’s supposed to say – Happy ___??? – please do let me know. The man can’t even write his name. How does that look remotely like ‘Nick‘? Why are there two dots, as though there are two i‘s? Unless he has written Nicki – which is again hilarious – but then where is the k? Deary me. Still. This is fabulous in every way.




Anyway, I leave behind depressing and amusing notions to now turn to earnest ones. I cannot possibly do a post and not drag the Ilimoskus into somehow, right? Perhaps you are wondering about the title of this post.


‘Glowing Heart Day’

On an Ilimoskus birthday, their heartlight (the little four-pointed star situated on their chests) glows brightly throughout the duration of the day. But let me tell you of the Ilimoskus belief regarding their heartlight…

The Ilimoskus believe that their Creator’s spirit resides in the hearts of all. Broaden that belief out and it becomes them believing that there is a light in everyone’s heart. And this light is there to guide you, help you, throughout life.

‘May the light from your heart always guide you’

And I believe this too, you know. This is the case for humans. It is not just limited to the Ilimoskus. There is a light within us all, and all we need to do is embrace it. And when we do, the world becomes a very bright and beautiful place.


Once upon a time, I had a good German friend called Christian with whom I have many joyful memories. I haven’t seen him for many years, and we fell out of touch, but, due to the wonders of social media these days, he is a friend of mine on Facebook. Today he messaged me saying, “Alles Gute zum Geburtstag”. I never knew what “Happy birthday” was in German until now. Can you believe I never asked him? It made me smile.

Though, I did learn this from him in our time:

“Ich liebe dich”

From my glowing heart, I share a loving light, and so I say Ich liebe dich to you all. I love you. For what is life without love? Love to all, and compassion for all.


Embrace the light in your heart

and let it be your guide,

and nevermore will you become

lost within the night


11 responses to “Umeraard-ite (Glowing Heart Day)

  1. You are forgetting the thirty-first birthday of Lolly Badcock, the renowned porn star. I hasten to add: Wikipedia was used there…

    I love the owl mug – I’m guessing this came from Owl City under a pseudonym… tsk, not fantastically subtle of him! – and actually burst out laughing at Meggie’s coaster. As soon as I saw that, I thought it might be from her. Is she not coming to visit, then? Some wife she is.

    So, Nick. That looks very much as if it says ’21st’… which is a little bizarre. Are you twenty-one? I didn’t put in the e-mail that you were twenty-one… hmm. Good old Nici, I love his handwriting. What a truly hilarious photograph, though! Oh dear. If ever on a low ebb, simply direct your gaze to that smirk. Things will seem just a little bit better, because of ol’ Nick/Nici/Higi, the unlikely sex symbol that he SO is.

    Well, I’m most pleased to hear it’s been largely a happy birthday. KEEP SMILING!!! As an extra cherry-on-top gift, may I say, bon anniversaire. Don’t eat too much gateaux d’anniversaire (i’ve no idea if that’s ‘birthday cake’, but it sounds as though it ought to be).

    • Lolly Badcock? Oh my… (What a porn name)

      Haha, well obviously 😉 Noo, no visit from my darling as of yet. She’s busy, and to be honest, I’ve had a bit too much going on down here to want any company recently. But we’ll meet soon, I’m sure. I might make arrangements to get to Oxford soon. But, if not, I’m sure she’ll come to me again. Perhaps her car will be functional this time, so she won’t have to bus and train the whole journey, and then shout at me for not having my hair down while waiting for me at the bus stop. Did I tell you that at the time? “How am I meant to see you and get off at the right stop when you aren’t brandishing your lion’s mane?” she says. I had my hair completely up, you see. Sorry MEGAN 😉

      I thought it looked like ’21st’ too! But I don’t get it..?? How could he have possibly written an age when no one gave him one? I’m so confused. Maybe he is a stalker. Hilarious/creepy thought. *shifty eyes*

      I wonder what ‘birthday cake’ is in German. The Ilimoskus have no translation/word for ‘birthday cake’, since it doesn’t exist in their world, so I can’t even delight you with that.

      Ahh, Kodi. Darling Pod. Isn’t he the best? ❤

      • It’s almost as bad as Dixie Normous. (Try and say that with a straight face. I cannot… but then, I am five.)

        You did tell me about your inconsiderate lack of lion’s mane last time you forayed around town, yes. Hilarious, really. I love her.

        This is gold. I don’t know. It’s all too funny. Maybe he’s outside in the foliage, peering through your window. He knows your address, after all.

        In German, it is Geburtstagskuchen. Which makes sense, given that is literally ‘birthday cake’.

        He certainly is… what a beautiful beast he is ❤ give him a hug from me.

      • Oh, Steven. It’s like that Monty Python sketch. Biggus Dickus.

        Have a giggle on me.

        Oh, Life of Brian is so, so hilarious. I need to watch it again.

        This Higi stalker business is making me howl. The funniest thing about you saying he’s outside peering through the foliage is that I actually have this massive hedge/bush area in the garden which anyone could quite easily lose themselves in.

        German is such a mad language. Hilarious. Everything in German is such a mouthful. Apparently, in Finnish, ‘birthday cake’ is syntymäpäivä kakku. That too is a ridiculous mouthful.

        Kodi shall be hugged lovingly, fear not.

      • I don’t think I’ve ever watched any Monty Python, you know. But how marvellous that clip was.

        How about JENNY TALWARTS?

        Oh, I loved German (overstating slightly, but never mind) for precisely that reason. To think I picked it over French because I thought it easier. Meerschweinchen. Winkelmesser. So many beautiful words. Oh my, that Finnish… we should learn Finnish. Or Norweigan. Imagine the scandal if it’s revealed that I, the Prince of Norway, cannot even speak the language of my people.

        YES! And give him another big hug. Then howl at him to see if he joins in, like Luigi.

      • …You’ve never seen any Monty Python…..??? How is that even possible, Steven? SORT IT OUT.

        I’ve got such a strange obsession/fascination with the Finnish language, and I have no idea why. Such a random language to like. Haha, that would be quite the scandal. LEARN NORWEGIAN. Oh, good. It looks like another hilarious mouthful language. This is Norwegian for ‘birthday cake’: bursdagskake.

        Kodi would probably just look at me like I’d gone mad if I tried howling at him.

  2. Forgot to say: when viewing this post, I happened to spot that Instagram photograph of Kodi posing on the beach. Oh my. What a magnificent photo that is! ❤ What a star. I want that dog.

  3. Happy Belated Birthday dear Jenny Jen Jen! I am so sorry I am a day late, as always catching up. My mum’s birthday is February 11 🙂 What a thrill to receive such a wonderful gift from your dear Stevick, he made your day. And after all you’ve been through, so richly deserved too. So, so sorry for all you are going through. Life can be so darn awful at times, and then all those computer troubles on top of everything else. I wish I could take it all away for you…but I can only send my love and hugs and prayers that things get better and that your heart will be lifted and filled again with joy and hope and peace and love and laughter that carries you through each day, one step at a time…
    On a lighter note, Wallace & Grommit are wonderful and as for Spongebob, well, love that show 🙂
    Blue skies and twlight Jenny Jen Jen…and a day of pure joy and light-heartedness is what I ask for you as my belated birthday present. And what a beautiful photo of you too… ❤ ❤ ❤ xxx

    • But your love and prayers and hugs are all I need, dear Sherri P 🙂 They are very warmly received over here, thank you. And thank you for the belated birthday wishes. You know, amazingly, though there are dark rainclouds and storms around me at the moment, I am surprisingly in the light. Maybe I an unwittingly standing beneath a rainbow. I know I will see my blue skies this year. This is the year I shall be free. And I so pray for the sun to be in your life too ❤

      • Beautiful dear Jenny Jen Jen…I am so happy to hear this…blessings galore for you in all things and I thank you so much for your prayers too… and sending the hugest hug just for you ❤ ❤ ❤

  4. Happy belated birthday from me too, Jennifer; apologies, but I’m soooo far behind right now it’s untrue. I read 21st on the comment from Nick. Great presents too, by the way.

"What does your heart tell you?" - ToO, chpt. 32

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